The Devil's Dictionary: The Skwib Updates: C

It has been a hundred years since Ambrose Bierce first published his satirical classic, so we thought for the summer season, we would update a few terms to reflect the current state of our language.

C

CAT, n. A soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

This is a dog,
This is a cat.
This is a frog,
This is a rat.
Run, dog, mew, cat.
Jump, frog, gnaw, rat.
–Elevenson

The Skwib Update:

CAT, n. A superior and beauteous creature; if you own one, you should take pictures of it on an hourly basis and post them on the web.