The Lost Power Point Slides (Yanksgiving History Edition)

Chief Massasoit presents items NOT supplied for the first Thanksgiving, circa 1621 (only slide)

• deep-fried turkey
• cranberry sauce
• potatoes, white or sweet
• pie of any kind (there were pumpkins, though).

Pilgrim chef suggests the following harvest feast, circa 1621 (second slide)

• wild fowl
• lobsters, mussels
• “sallet herbs” (whatever they are)
• black and red plums
• flint corn
• venison (thanks to Chief Massasoit and Wampanoag tribe for providing).

Sarah Josepha Hale, editor Godey’s Lady’s Book, presents: Let’s invent a holiday, circa 1854 (slide 3)

• roast turkey
• savory stuffing
• pumpkin pie
• Indians? What Indians?

Abraham Lincoln proclaims Thanksgiving an annual holiday in 1863 (fifth slide)

• in the midst of a civil war of unequalled magnitude and severity
• still, should set apart and observe the last Thursday of November, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens
• family bickering a part of the holiday — be happy with bickering compared to civil war.

President Franklin D. Roosevelt declares that Thanksgiving would be the next to last Thursday of November, 1939 (second slide)

• depression sucks
• can’t advertise Christmas until after Turkey Day
• this gives merchants a longer period to sell goods before Christmas.

In 1941 Congress decides the last Thursday of November as Thanksgiving (only slide)

• ‘Franksgiving’ not celebrated by every state
• Split difference — sometimes Abe’s day, sometimes Franky-boy’s.

Arlo Guthrie presents Alice’s Restaurant Massacre in 1967 (only slide)

• two Thanksgivings ago helped Alice (great dinner)
• dumped garbage illegally (dump closed for T-day)
• got ticket, convicted (had to pick up garbage)
• no fit serve in Vietnam (and kill a bunch of people) because I was a litterbug.

Happy Thanksgiving (a day early) to everyone in the States!

Alltop is stuffed with humor. And walnuts. Originally published, November, 2005. Inspired by:The First Thanksgiving | Alice’s Restaurant | Original photo by Frayed