Category: Parody & Satire

XI’AN (The Skwib) — Party officials in China have opened a new anti-smoking clinic in northwest China. Earlier this week, officials at the Qinling Safari…

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Psychlotron XII was well-known as the premier negolath-mining planet in the entire galaxy. (Negolath, as you know, is a vital element in the powdered wig industry, which has gripped galactic fashion since the disembodied head of Joan Rivers wore one to the 1206th Oscars.)

The problem with negolath is that it is easily transmuted into an aerosol, is highly reactive and can cause a range of maladies such as having your face to slough off. In short, if not properly handled, negolath killed people, turned them into hideous skin-deprived ghouls, or even worse.

The Massively Helpful Insurance Company provided the health coverage for the miners who quarried the all-important negolath.

And there had been a massive aerosol event; thousands of miners and their families were dead, losing their facial features, or getting sick. The Massively Helpful Insurance Company was on the hook for billions of credits in health care, that is, until they called in Darth Jeremy, Dark Lord of Insurance Agents. It would take him weeks, but the powerful villain visited each policy holder in turn.

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The Truth was out there, and it was Special Agent Frank Mulva’s job to prevent people from finding it. If they discovered it … well…

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