Wayne made Leondardo Da Vinci look like a lazy pig.
Legend had it the famous Renaissance artist only slept two hours a day, in short 20-minute naps, leaving him 22 hours each day to work.
Wayne had got his sleep time down to zero — first by an ingenious combination of Red Bull and amphetamines, and now, with a new experimental drug he’d stolen from a monkey.
Well, technically he’d stolen it from the physiology and pharmacology department of the university that owned the simian in question.
He’d gone twelve days without any sleep; after he finally pulled himself away from the TV, he’d been incredibly productive. His cheque book was balanced, his house was spotless, and that novel that he’d always wanted to write — we’ll, he hadn’t started that yet, but he HAD refinished the bathroom, and he was about to open up the wall between his living room and dining room.
Wayne was being one productive bastard.
He was just plugging in his reticulating saw when the hallucinations began.
“I say old bean,” asked the pig in the tuxedo. It was a funny kind of pig. It had a plummy British accent, it was wearing a monocle, and it was smoking a cigar. “are you quite sure you want to use a reticulating saw? Would some sort of surgical tool be more appropriate?”
Wayne put the saw down, flushed the experimental drugs down the toilet, and decided to have a nap.
The pig came with him.
Other productive humor writers at alltop and humor-blogs.com and you may want to learn about how a New Drug May Help the Sleep-Deprived Brain.