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The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Elizabethan Era Edition)

Elizabeth the firstGood Queen Bess presents: My Reign (slide 2)

  • shall be, ahem, The Virgin Queen
  • therefore, last of the Tudors
  • don’t ask, don’t tell policy: you don’t ask, I don’t tell them to cut off your head for treason.

Good Queen Bess presents: My Reign (slide 3)

  • religion of England shall be Protestant (Act of Uniformity)
  • no papists, really
  • England for the English
  • Ireland for the English too.

Sir Francis Drake makes diplomatic overture to Spanish (only slide)

  • kiss my Golden Hind.

Sir Francis Bacon presents “knowledge is power” (slide 12)

    “Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested: that is, some books are to be read only in parts, others to be read, but not curiously, and some few to be read wholly, and with diligence and attention.”

Sir Francis Bacon presents “knowledge is power” (slide 13)

  • that was a metaphor, dumbass
  • don’t actually eat books.

William Shakespeare presents “Better than Marlow” (slide 25)

    Blank verse Marlow made first, improved did I.
    Say ye no? Fie, fie, on your poxy yard!

Sir Walter Ralegh presents: taters! (slide 4)

  • slice, fry in oil
  • call these … hmmm, chips
  • oh, good for Irish too.

Inspired by:
Begin of Elizabeth I’s reign: Nov. 17, 1558