Operation Give-Our-Parties-Mascots

In the usual skwib fashion, we come to this issue from an oblique angle.

The US has a new movement, Operation Yellow Elephant, which proposes that young Republicans support their President by serving as infantry in the army.

Wow, what an excellent idea; this will really help the American forces meet some of their recruitment targets, which they have been falling behind on for some time now. If you were a young Republican, you would go, right? I mean, your country needs you. Your president needs you (never mind that he didn’t volunteer to serve in a war zone when he was a youth) so you go. That’s what duty is all about.

Of course, it’s easy to say, living in Canada. (And yes, I’m being sarcastic.)

This leads us to the problem at hand. Where are OUR mascots? In the US, the Republicans have an elephant. The Democrats have a donkey. Where are the animals for our political parties?

The skwib has few suggestions:

Liberals:

Candiru. This is the tiny Amazonian fish that swims into unsuspecting urethras, plants a spike to make their residence permanent, and proceeds to feed off the host until the parasitee does something silly like try to remove it.

Conservatives:

Gull. This is a bird that flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything, eats anything they can grab, does nothing constructive, and then takes off.

NDP:

Beaver. The most Canadian of all animals: Hard worker, communal and steadfast in nature. Nevertheless, has been known to chew off its own testicles at the first sign of danger. (At least according to Aesop.)

Bloc:

Pig. Must it be spelled out? Check out the “English” language reference in the pig entry on Wikipedia if it does.

If you have other suggestions, please feel free to let the skwib know at: skwib (at) markarayner.com.

Links of note:
Operation Yellow Elephant | Candiru | Aesop disrespects the beaver | Pig