Peruse her biography:

General Wolseley was given the thankless job of saving Gordon of Khartoum.  He is pictured here, right after the photographer asked the General to "pull his finger".

Ultimately, even Gordon's fez could not save him from the wrath of the Mahdi.

Gordon of Khartoum was quite the darling of the British people and popular press.  He was less liked by native Sudanese.

Recent evidence suggests it was not only the death of her beloved Lars that caused Emily to become celibate for some time. Though many Chesleyan scholars maintain that 1881-1886 Emily's life was a dark period, there is mounting evidence that the speculative writer was much more active in Canadian affairs than originally thought. Undoubtedly, Chesley had withdrawn from polite Victorian society in this period, but she was definitely engaged with civilization's ruder parts.

In 1884, Sir Charles (“Chinese”) Gordon, Governor General of the Sudan, was under siege by a fanatical leader known as “The Mahdi” and his followers. The press and public pressure encouraged British Prime Minister Gladstone to do something to save the well-loved Gordon. In classic Prime Ministerial fashion, Gladstone passed the job on to General Garnet Wolseley, who organized a military expedition that would paddle up the Nile River to relieve Gordon in Khartoum (1).

As a younger officer Wolsely had taken part in quelling the 1870 Manitoba uprising and he recalled the skills of the voyageurs handling the boats on that trip; he believed they could help move troops and supplies up the treacherous rapids and cataracts of the upper Nile River. Naturally, when Emily saw the call for souls adventurous enough to join the expedition, she was eager to take part.

Emily had some experience guiding canoes from her days in the west (see the Wilderness Years), so she could offer some experience. Still, there was a problem. To whit, her curvaceous body was likely to cause some distraction amongst the squat, hairy, pipe-smoking men of the voyageur set. Fortunately, her uncle, the inventor Michael Flannigan, had just finished patenting a new device that would prove the perfect answer to this dilemma.

The Gentlemen's Wrestling Apparatus (circa 1884) was originally designed for the less-than-robust gent who wanted to partake in the manly sport of Greco-Roman wrestling. (2) Underneath, the apparatus reinforced human strength with the use of high-tensile wires, an steel-nickel alloy exoskeleton and four miniature "spring-wound rotary propulsion thingies". On the exterior, the full-body suit included a realistic covering of body hair and impressive male genitalia. It was the perfect disguise for Emily's adventure up the Nile. (3)

It was quite uncanny how naturalistic the Gentleman's Wrestling Apparatus was.  Emily is pictured here in the prototype, wrestling with Aloucious "Smeemy" McGee, five-time champ in the East London shave-off.

By October more than 350 Canadian boatmen were in Egypt, heading up the Nile. Though some were veteran canoeists, the "voyageurs" were actually a motley crew of raftsmen from the lumber trade. There were French, English, First Nation peoples, and Métis in the group. They came from the Ottawa and Peterborough areas of Ontario, the Caughnawagna reserve, and Trois Rivières in Quebec. In addition a number of adventurers from Winnipeg – lawyers, teachers and sexually confused haberdashers – had joined the expedition.

Even though there was a lack of Norwegians, Emily found the company exhilarating. These were men unlike any other she had met before. Their arrival in Egypt caused some stir – the British officers found the boatmen "mutinous and exceedingly malodorous", and even Wolseley noted in his journal that: "they are a rough looking lot."

They soon earned the respect of officers and Wolseley alike. Working 13-14 hour days, the boatmen managed to get steer 30-foot whaling ships up the river, carting three or four tons each along with 12 soldiers. For Emily, there were some frustrations:

"To be surrounded by such a company and remain celibate; there are literally boatloads of squat Odysseuses and red-tuniced Achilles all around me, yet I am unable to act! If not for the back-breaking work and the bucking we experience in the cataracts, I would have gone insane by now."

Emily's presence did not go totally unnoticed, though nobody ever penetrated her disguise. (4) In addition to the men, there were several Canadian officers, a doctor and one priest. Father Arthur Bouchard, who had earlier served as a missionary in the Sudan, spoke Arabic and was thus a great help on the mission. He was also extraordinarily "sensitive" and noted in a letter to his aunt:

"The young paddler, Ernest "Chutney" McChesley, is a wonder. He has the strength of two men, but for all that, I've never seen him sweat. He has one of the hairiest backs I've ever seen, but at the same time, his face is a smooth as a girl's!"

Though it was not all fun and games on the expedition. Some of the cataracts were so dangerous that the soldiers, normally equipped with oars to help row the boats, went ashore to tow them with only the boatmen remaining on board to manoeuvre the vessels. Eight voyageurs died of disease, six were drowned (probably the haberdashers) and two were killed in an 'accident' (the lawyers).

Except for a mysterious full-body rash, Emily flourished. She discovered a love for rowing that became an oar that guided her throughout life, and she learned much about the nature of men that would prove vital to her survival on other adventures, many of them with Norwegians. Her experiences later found their way into her comic re-telling of the Odyssey: A Boat, Boy! (1930, Vesticular Press).

When they arrived, Emily got the chance to meet the famous Gordon of Khartoum as she helped unload the whale-boat. She recorded the event in her journal (5), but for some reason never used the material in her autobiography, Speculations:

Gordon pointed to me and asked our officer "who is that man?"

"What, Chutney McChesley?"

"Chutney they call him?"

"Have no idea why, but he's a demon in the rapids, Sir."

"Hmm. Deucedly hairy, but there's something compelling about him, isn't there?"

"Uh, yes, shall I have him come over?"

"Yes, do, do!"

I was brought before Gordon, and he sized me up. For a terrible moment, I thought he was going to expose me, but instead, he said, "I hear they call you Chutney."

"Yes, sir," I said.

"Funny sort of nickname," he said, peering into my eyes. Then he looked at the place where uncle's apparatus met the natural colour of my skin.

"Hmmm. Well, carry on."

Gordon was no fool. That night, I was summoned to his quarters…

Sadly, even with the help of the Canadians, Wolseley was unable to save Gordon of Khartoum, who refused to leave his troops behind; he was massacred along with them when the Madhi and his followers overran the city in January 1885.

What transpired in Gordon's quarters? Did Chesley find love with one who was not of Norwegian descent? All we know is that Chesley never mentioned him in any other writing and was celibate for nearly a year afterward.

--"Scholarship" by The Squire

Notes:

(1) The Royal Canadian Regiment was officially formed on 21 December, 1883 when the Canadian Government issued General Order No. 26. The barracks built between 1883 and 1886 to house the regiment was named after General Wolseley. [back]

(2) The sport was having something of a resurgence in some quarters of Victorian society. See Basil Foppington's excellent monograph, "On all fours: wrestling in Victorian public schools." [back]

(3) Unfortunately, Flannigan did not find a market for this particular invention, though he did sell a few to freak shows in the UK and Germany. It may also be of interest that the suit was excessively hairy, as Flannigan had modeled the body type after his old mountaineering friend Gunter Gruntz. [back]

(4) Much to her chagrin. [back]

(5) Up until recently, this unbound journal had been hidden within an antique stuffed penguin on display at the Marlsborough Petting Zoo and Goat Cheese Factory, in Betwetting-on-Tyme, Surrey. It is unclear why the taxidermist would use Emily's diary to stuff the flightless bird, though doubtless Emily would have told him to get stuffed for doing so. [back]