Related Inventions

Patent No. 5832, circa 1856

Flannigan's Follicle Restorer, circa. 1877

The Comet Suit, circa 1898

Apparatus for the prevention of aliens bursting out of the chest, circa 1889

In February of 1889, Michael Flannigan picked up a pamphlet sitting on the kitchen table in the rambling mansion on Princess Ave. that he shared with his "niece" Emily Chesley. It described a horrific tragedy that had befallen the hamlet of Newbury, in Essex County, earlier that year. According to the pamphlet, a number of Newbury's citizens had been - unknown to them - impregnated with an alien fetus.

While the thought of being impregnated by an alien was repulsive enough, the method of gestation and birth was even more shocking. According to the literature, the aliens used their hosts' chest cavities to gestate. They were born, not through any natural opening, but through an orifice created by the alien itself. Apparently, they were strong enough at birth to burst through a strong man's sternum. Needless to say, the victims of this method of reproduction did not survive to toddle the newborns on their knees.

The image of an alien bursting out of his chest haunted Flannigan for several weeks. He took to clutching his heart at odd moments and shouting, "for the love of god, no!" (This was especially inconvenient when he was attending the weekly meeting of the Chamber of Commerce.) At first, Emily thought that her uncle was suffering from terrible indigestion (this was several years before the invention of the Systematic Anti-autointoxication Device, and Flannigan was still very fond of his morning sauerkraut and sausage breakfasts). Then, mysteriously, the clutching and shouting stopped.

It was not until she saw the paperwork from the patent office in late March that she understood what had happened. Flannigan had read one of her earlier works, "The Newborns of Newbury" and thought it was an actual report. He had been wearing his prototype since the start of the month. Emily explained the misunderstanding, but Flannigan was not completely convinced, and continued to wear the device until his dying day. (1) He did, however, cancel the first order he'd made with his subcontractor.

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Note:

(1) And it was lucky for him that he did. The circumstances of the Nairn Road Showdown are documented in the excellent monograph: "Bulletproof: Michael Flannigan's Last Gunfight."