Sledging through snow in the land of Earth's spindle.
We came across the site of a fate most dreadful
There lay a tent, frozen, alone and forgot
Which held three bodies, one of them Scott.
Oh Scott! Oh Scott!
Frozen on the spot.
Cemented to his sleeping bag.
Half out of his cot
Oh Scott! Oh Scott!
With grasping hand out shot
Like an icy leg of mutton
At least he didn't rot
Yes, 'twas that Scott, Robert Falcon, the explorer
Intrepid trekker to places bi-polar.
Who embarked on that ill-fated South Pole attack
Got there, it seems, but didn't quite make it back.
Oh Scott! Oh Scott!
Frozen on the spot.
Bested by a Norwegian
To the pole he had sought
Oh Scott! Oh Scott!
What has he wrought?
Tried to walk back
But in deep freeze he was caught.
Perhaps 'twas the cold, the worst cold on record
That left Scott's men as stiff as a breadboard.
Or maybe the supply dumps were too far asunder
That Scott made it this far is really a wonder
Oh Scott! Oh Scott!
Frozen on the spot.
No dogs, or parkas,
or polar whatnot.
Oh Scott! Oh Scott!
He lacked forethoughts!
Should have worn fur pants
Not burlap culottes.
Oates' brave sacrifice, after Evans lost his head
Was sadly in vain, as they all ended up dead.
(Oates left the tent. Saw his end plain as day.
Walked till he iced over. Thought it better that way.)
Oh Scott! Oh Scott!
Frozen on the spot.
His stamina gave out
Just short of a cachepot.
Oh Scott! Oh Scott!
'Tis an Englishman's lot
To be so damned heroic
In such a foolish tight spot.
Bowers looked peaceful. So too did Wilson
But Scott, it was clear, died cursing this region.
We left them there in that tent so squalid.
Could not really move what had frozen quite solid.
Oh Scott! Oh Scott
Frozen on the spot.
Not block, nor tackle
Could have moved that lot.
Oh Scott! Oh Scott!
A snowy burial he got.
Would have smelled had we thawed him
Would have smelled quite a lot.
Thus a snowy grave ended this British polar epic
We left him there on the ground where he had stuck.
And a legend was born. A story not soon to be forgot
Of this bold doomed hero, frozen on the spot Scott.
Damn the Norwegians!
--"Scholarship" by Thuder
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