Alternate History Fridays: Dr. Tundra, international infidel of mystery

Given his proclivities, it was almost a miracle that Dr. Tundra had kept his head on his shoulders.

But he could not thank Allah for the continued love affair between his torso and his head, it was all thanks to his medical degree (and his neck). A shortage of doctors in the European Caliphate had forced the ruler to import some from North America and South America, where the dawah had not been successful.

And where it never would, if Dr. Tundra, international infidel of mystery, had anything to say about it. Of course, the cause of the doctor shortage was something to give him pause. A large number of European physicians had considered themselves scientists first — some were atheists, and some followed one religion or another — but in the first flush of the Islamic Revolution in Europe, they had all been seen as atheists — apostates no matter what branch of Islamic law you wanted to argue from.

And therefore, had their heads removed from their torsos.

He sat in front of the Notre Dame, which now had an Arabic name that he could not pronounce; it didn’t really matter to the good doctor whether it was a cathedral or a mosque. It was still beautiful (except for the minaret they’d stuck on top, which kind of spoiled the building’s symmetry). He opened his sandwich, a nice baguette with cheese. It would be perfect if he could have a little ham in it too, but of course, that was not allowed either. Never mind the peyote milkshake that he’d been craving since arriving in Europe.

When his mission was done, and he went back to America, then he could indulge himself again. But how long would it take him to make contact with the European underground? Assuming there was an underground.

From what he could see, the revolution had been pretty successful. Women everywhere covered head-to-toe (and those who had not been inclined to cover themselves had already met the same fate as the physicians and other apostates). This was a shame; Tundra remembered Paris from the days when it was a secular nation, and the women had always struck him as stylish and beautiful. And even though shariah law allowed dhimmi, Catholics and Protestants, to continue worshipping in private (all churches and cathedrals had been converted into mosques), very few had chosen to do so. That was probably because of the heavy taxes and even more restricted freedom the dhimmi had to pay for the privilege.

The speakers bolted outside the cathedral/mosque came on and blared a call for prayer, and Dr. Tundra hurriedly ate the last of his baguette, while worshippers gathered.

The wailing reminded him of warning sirens.

This is another one from the archives, as the first few comments will show. This was written around the time of the Danish cartoon thing three years ago: Writers issue cartoon row warning. Thanks to everymosquito for the original photo. Except for the goofy athiests, Alltop and humor-blogs.com are members of the dhimmi [wiki] and have a lot to fear from the shariah [wiki].