AVIGNON (The Skwib) — Earlier today the Avignon Papacy held a news conference to confirm the existence of RoboPope, going so far as to release schematics of the first fully functional cyber-Pontiff.
“Many question the existence of RoboPope,” Bishop of Death and Avignon spokescleric Machete Jones told the assembled reporters. “Behold!”
The clang of RoboPope’s titanium chassis could be heard even above the din of reporters shouts of surprise as RoboPope stomped onstage.
“Dominus vobiscum,” RoboPope intoned with its powerful, speaker-augmented voice, blessing the assembled reporters.
Death Bishop Machete Jones then proceeded to help RoboPope demonstrate its various special functions, including its all-in-one wireless Pope hat, multiphasic Satan-busting crosier (with pointy bit) and where the android consumes a protein compound enhanced with holy wafers and communion wine, which sustains the cyborg’s organic and spiritual components.
RoboPope stayed for a question-and-answer session, in which it demonstrated both a sense of humour, an absolute infallibility, and a complete inability to tap-dance.
Click here for a larger view of Robopope’s schematics.
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