Professor Quippy: Coffee won’t kill me!

Professor QuippyUnlike many other health studies, which indicate the long list of bad behaviours, addictions and quasi-illegal activities that make up my day-to-day activities will likely kill me, or at least, turn me into a brain-craving zombie (though we prefer “formerly living person”), there was good news out of the Autonomous University of Madrid yesterday. (Not to be confused with the Autoerotic University of Madrid.)

It turns out that coffee is not a killer, and if you drink enough of it, that morning java may actually extend your life. You heard me right! Something that tastes good and gives you a buzz could lengthen your lifespan.

According to the New Scientist:

“The study tracked 129,000 men and women over two decades. It found that people who consumed several cups of coffee every day were less likely to die of heart disease than those who shied away from the stuff. Heart disease is an umbrella term for conditions including heart attacks, stroke, and arrhythmia.”

Woo-hoo! But the usual caveats apply. Don’t start an IV drip of the stuff or drinking coffee instead of sleeping. Be sensible people.

I’m sure there will be more studies, such as the one that showed coffee turns you into a pussy, but I’ll take the any news that allows me to maintain my degenerate lifestyle when I can get it.

Humor-blogs.com drinks just enough to keep their edge, while Alltop is clearly working with some other substance. You can find the full New Scientist story at their site.

3 Responses to Professor Quippy: Coffee won’t kill me!

  1. Ryan Hupfer June 18, 2008 at 8:31 pm #

    This is GREAT news for me…I drink at least 3-4 cup daily. Probably a little much, eh?

  2. Alex L. June 19, 2008 at 1:08 am #

    Is it the coffee or just the caffiene, I’ve taken to just popping a few caffiene pills every morning, its really invigorating if you can just ignore the halucinations.

  3. Mark A. Rayner June 19, 2008 at 10:29 am #

    I think the tested the coffee, not just caffeine, though obviously that’s the psychoactive agent of interest. Ryan: 3-4 cups won’t do it. You’ll need to have at least 7. And more like 17 for Alex’s hallucinations.