Well, I hate to be a bearer of bad news, but I know which is the fish fork, and I’m a freakin’ monkey.
However, this does not mean you’re a boor.
You’re a boor if you look at the number of implements beside your plate, stare at the fish course with its malevolent dead eyes, almost mocking your ignorance, and then announce: “well, I don’t know what God-damned fork to use!”
Then you’re a boor.
If after this announcement, you lift one butt cheek, and let one rip, then you’re worse — you’re a redneck (or a baboon).
If you don’t want to display this kind of oafish behaviour, my recommendation is that you watch what everyone else is doing, and copy them. If they’re wrong, well, at least you won’t stand out.
Unless, of course, you’re really hungry. Then just pick the damn thing up with your fingers and eat.
I like to make little “ooo, ooo, ooo” noises when I choose this option.