OTTAWA — A small group from Canada’s influential inukshuk industry is staging a sit-in on Parliament Hill, demanding that Prime Minister Paul Martin bring Brian Tobin back to cabinet.
“He’s the only one who can save Hans Island!” their spokesperson, Carla Flintstone shouted.
Hans Island is at the center of a diplomatic dispute between Canada and Denmark. Both countries claim the barren, desolate, frigid, uninhabited rock in the high arctic.
Last week, Defence Minister Bill Graham was dispatched to Hans Island to land on the island and eat a ham sandwich to establish Canada’s sovereignty over the island.
Not to be outdone, the Danish Minister of Nudity Arvid Funkberg has been sent to Hans Island to eat a meal of sild — half rotted herring. He will wash this down with an incredibly warm bottle of Skipsol, Denmark’s famously weak, resin-flavoured beer.
“Graham is a pussy!” Flintstone shouted hysterically. “The only one who can save us is Brian Tobin.”
Tobin is best known for his role in the 1995 Turbot War between Canada and the European Union. Then Minister of Fisheries and Oceans, Tobin used “extra-territorial” force to seize a Spanish ship that was fishing illegally in Canadian waters.
Hans Island is home to more than .0001 percent of Canada’s inukshuks.
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