We have a supportive Carnival of Satire for you this week, filled with great posts that, unlike the old Sears underwear ad at left, does not airbrush out the naughty bits. Enjoy!

Alejna presents some hilarious punctuation advice to a would-be kidnapper in: more note-writing tips from Ms. Mismanners.

Speaking of punctuation, take a deep breath, and go have a look at this explanation of the Right-Wing Conspiracy Theory Thing posted at The Vanity Press, thanks to Ahistoricality for finding it. Next time send oxygen, commas and semi-colons too!

polliwog asked Bobbarama a pertinent question about why men prefer Briefs versus boxers. General Kang has also weighed in on this important question.

The Skwib has always been an equal opportunity offender, and Madeleine Begun Kane helps keep it that way with pithy poetry: Keeping Abreast Of Bras.

John Wesley is Brainstorming Ways to Get Attention Online.

Plebian has unlocked the The Mother Goose Code. This teaser will give you a sense of what you’ll find there:

Peter, Peter Pumpkin Eater: This bleak poem discusses how vegetarian Adolf Hitler held an entire world hostage to his mad whims with the imagery of a man forcing his unwilling wife to live in a pumpkin..

Damian G. reports on the unfortunate devastation of Cho’s Chicken After Virginia Tech massacre

Dave has a provocative post at Miss(ed) Manners that identifies some problems with the SF/Fantasy Soap Opera (and guilty pleasure), “Lost” spinning a future satire of what fandom is going to do, in: Lost, in Time.

Robert Bruce Carter thinks that we all need More Equality: Conquering the Leisure Gap.

Vapid Media has Avril Lavigne-related snark. We like!

Rickey Henderson would like to take some time to discuss … his Volvo. Really.

Garthimus presents Transformers > Your Toys Wont Work On Teh Movie Screen!!! With three exclamation marks, so you know it’s good!!!!

Xran The Space Pirate presents XRAN XPLAINS- GEORGE TENET. We’ll let you decide what all caps might mean…

And we’ll leave you on a high note, or at least a brilliant one. Madeleine Begun Kane has penned a classic Serenade For The First Sufferers.

Thanks to everyone for submitting their satire and making this a remarkably funny edition of the carnival. Thanks to these fine folks for helping us with webby-stuff: the Blog Carnival for their form; and the listings at the Ubercarnival, and at the Blog Carnival too.