I’ve got a new gig writing monthly for John Ottinger’s blog. Up today: A Letter to Town Council: Municipal Investment Strategies for the Technological Singularity.
Archive | August, 2010
Your chance at immortality, books, and random crap!
Hell yes, we’re going to do this again. This is a contest in which you may be able to win:
- a chance to appear in a walk-on role in my next book
- a chance to win one of three copies of Marvellous Hairy, a novel in five fractals
- a “mystery” item from my desk.
Now, if you’ve entered, or think you will, this is an excellent time to start thinking about how you would like to appear in my next book. Actually, to say next book is to narrow it down too much. I’m currently at work on two books; both are satires (naturally). One is a speculative fiction, the broad theme of which is artificial intelligence, and the other is a historical fiction — or rather, a gentle send-up of the kinds of historical fictions that win Booker and Giller Prizes on a regular basis.
You can put yourself in either book. Almost anything goes. You can appear as yourself — with your name attached, or as a pseudonym. Or your cameo can be somewhat fictionalized. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to be a pirate. Or maybe a ninja. (I hope not, but there’s no accounting for tastes.) Maybe you’d like to be a character with an extra appendage. Almost anything goes, as long as we can work it into the story in a way that doesn’t completely destroy the structural integrity of the novel.
So, what do you imagine you’d like to do with this opportunity? Feel free to share here.
Still want to enter? Join my fan page or my newsletter (sign up for both to double your chances). You have until midnight, August 31st!
Alltop and is always ready for its close up. Excellent pirate pic by practicalowl.
The Blue Light, 2011
After his injury in the war, his leaders told the soldier, “thanks for your service, but we don’t need you anymore.” The soldier was sent home, without much help, or rehab, and no occupation, that was for sure. So he got work doing odd jobs for an economist; some days he’d dig holes, other days he’d pick up garbage at the side of the road and sell it to the economist; it was just enough to live on, but not enough to improve his situation.
Then one day the economist said, “I have this blue light I need you to bring me, and if you do that, I’ll make sure you’re set up comfortably for life. The only thing is it’s kind of hard to get at — you’ll have to crawl through a tunnel to an underground cave to find it.”
The financial wizard didn’t mention the underground dwellers who lived off rats, and fungus, and the occasional servant that the he had sent down in his previous attempts to recover the light. But the soldier had been trained in battle, and he brought his shovel with him, so he was able to defend himself, and find the blue light.
It was easy to see in the darkness of the cave; its ethereal glow could be seen from the far end, like a dawn. And when he got there, he was delighted to discover that it held the secrets of the economist, and his leaders, and what’s more, all the people who had any kind of wealth or power. It was a treasure trove of information.
When he got to the surface, the economist asked him if he found the blue light, and the soldier said, “no, sorry, it wasn’t down there.”
So the economist fired him, but the soldier didn’t care, because now he knew where the economist kept his hoard of gold. Which he took.
The soldier could have retired comfortably on that, but he was just getting started.
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Inspired by The Blue Light (The Brothers Grimm). Alltop also enjoys spelunking. Photo by Bianca Araujo. Originally published, October 2009.
A Venn Diagram for Higher Education Marketers
Another cogent observation by xkcd:
And yes, this has been noticed by others: in my experience people aren’t really too interested in your fund-raising efforts or the awesome things your outstanding and brilliant Center in Toenail Studies is doing in fungus-stricken New Jersey (though they should be with the latter).
They do, however, really want to know what the local weather is, or perhaps, if you have an art history program.
Alltop don’t take to no book learning.
Refugees from the Zombie Apocalypse
It was their last refuge — the sea.
Having escaped death at the hands of brain-hungry zombies, these poor people have now had to endure days at sea on this makeshift raft. At first, it was kind of fun. They played “I Spy”, the geography game, and when the seas were calm enough, charades. But then they ran out of food and good spirits. Of the 150 survivors for the zombie apocalypse who got on the raft, only 15 survived the days of madness, starvation, dehydration and an ironic bit of cannibalism.
Then they landed on the coast, where they were eaten by waiting zombies.
Of course, this tale is only a bit less horrible then the historical event it is actually based on. The Raft of the Medusa was painted by the French Romantic painter Théodore Géricault in 1818-1819; he picked this topic because he knew it would be controversial and help to launch his career. The historical event, the scandal it caused, and the painting it inspired are all described in Death and the Masterpiece.
Alltop doesn’t think it should be called cannibalism if you only ate one foot. See the gallery of all the Famous paintings with SF Titles here.
Famous Paintings with SF Titles — The Gallery
