Tag Archives | bad cover art

Excruciating Album Cover Art — Fancy (Raving Queen)

Fancy -- Raving QueenYou may not be aware that Fancy (born Manfred Alois Perilano), was a popular Euro-dance, Synth-Dance artiste in the mid-to-late 80s. You may not be aware that Euro-dance, Synth-Dance were once popular forms of musical expression. I certainly wasn’t until my eyes were assaulted by this cover and I just had to know if it was a hoax or not.

Not. This is from Fancy’s 1987 single, “Raving Queen”. (This is the ‘turbo dancer remix”, which caused at least a dozen pelvic explosions at the 1987 Euro-Dance and Eyeliner Expo, held in the UK for the first time, at Tightee-on-Whity, Kent.)

By all accounts, Fancy had a very successful music career in the 80s, topping the dance billboard charts with such hits as “Slice Me Nice”, “China Blue”, and of course, “Raving Queen” (not to be confused with his 1986 single, “Mincing Pansy.”)

This all came to a screeching halt when he tried to export his trademark rhythms and sound to the NFL in a stupendously misjudged cross-promotion he organized with the Detroit Lions. (Which were 1-6 in the mid-point of the season, and desperate for any kind of boost in fan interest.) Fancy played as a wide receiver for an astonishing 25 seconds in the first quarter. (Vegas bookies were giving 5-1 odds that he would be killed in his first play.)

In his second play, he managed to get open, and catch the ball. Unfortunately, he could not hold onto it when safety Bill Bates tackled him, breaking Fancy into several pieces. The fans were electrified! And the Detroit Lions went on to win the game 27-17.

Fancy’s pieces were surgically reattached, but alas, the equipment never worked the same; he did, however, recover his muse late in 1988, leading him to write “Fools Cry”, “All My Loving/Running Man” and “Limp Noodle.”

You may find more Excruciating Album Cover Art here. Alltop is also somewhat painful. Fancy’s website here, and the more factual wiki entry is here. Originally published, in the original Babylonian, in 2007.

Excruciating Album Cover Art — Satan Is Real

The Louvin Brothers -- Satan Is RealThe Louvin Brothers are best known as the brotherly Bible-thumpers who made close harmony acceptable. Prior to the creation of their breakthrough sound (think Everly Brothers with Grand Ole Opry-style gospel music), close harmony singers were routinely burned at the stake for “unnatural” love.

Once they overcame this (terrible) stereotype, they became quite popular, joining the Grand Ole Opry in 1955. Ira Louvin was the charismatic one, and he was known for falling into “fits of faith” when he would paint portraits of the devil. (Who looks suspiciously like a red Oscar with slanted eyes and bucked teeth — Ira was tortured by the Japanese during the war and was overlooked by the Academy for his performance as “inbred hillbilly” in John Fjord’s “Up the River”.)

The Louvin Brothers are also the first nominally “Godly” singers to play with the power of backwards tracking. Close observers will have already figured out that the title track “Satan Is Real”, played backwards, will sound like “Lear, Sin At Ass”. Now, can imagine how creepy and disgusting that will sound in reverse harmony? You don’t have too. You can listen to this. [Warning: Not Safe, Period. Don’t listen to this if you value your sanity. Opens an MP3 file.]

If you think that is frightening don’t listen to either “Are You Afraid to Die?” or “Low and Lonely”. In test subjects, these tracks will cause aural stigmata and an unnatural desire to eat sausage-shaped cheeses.

For more excruciation, join Paul Zon at his Museum of Bad Album Cover Art, or join Alltop. Note: A professor at Britain’s Salford University, Trevor Cox, claims the sound file linked above is the worst sound in the world. Originally published in 2007.