Yep, there’s nothing trickier to manipulate than a system based on fear and greed.
You humans should consider changing your approach to markets. Back on my home planet, I changed our stock market system to take most of the greed out of it, and increased the amount of fear.
How, you ask?
Simple. On a day like yesterday, anyone who managed to grab a profit out of the mass hysteria would be in big trouble.
How big, you ask?
Well, depending on the size of the profit, the traders could expect anything from a visit from Dave the Angry Rhesus monkey (armed with a pain stick and wet noodles), to being body-shaved, covered with nougat, and dropped into one of several nests of Parventian Rough-Tongued Terror Beasts.
So, on a day like yesterday, the question changes from: “can I make a profit out of the hysteria” or “should I sell and save myself” to “DARE I sell to make a profit/save myself.”
Do you suffer from coulrophobia? Are you haunted by images of that clown at your sixth birthday party — you know, the one where the clown turned balloon art into something that made your mother scream and your father inexplicably start wailing on him?