Navigation

Tag Archives | Genetic Fruit-Topping Wars

Giganto-Schism

By on November 30, 2010 in Parody & Satire, Toulouse Le Grandfig

Our Lady of the Massive Legs and ...The Giganto-Schism occurred sometime just after the establishment of the Trans-Vatican and the first RoboPope, Clagnor The Irrefutably Lethal. (This was dawning of the Genetic Fruit-Topping Wars). While the people of St. Tropezia were still somewhat bemused by the dire calamities promised by the Trans-Catholic Church, they found themselves drawn irresistibly to the gigantic women of their saucy little planet, and formed the Giganto Creed.

In particular, they loved Our Lady of the Massive Legs and Leopard Skin Camisole (especially when she was bathing). The Giganto-Schism further widened when the Victoria Secret Galaxy joined the Corporate Imperium, and they unleashed their first catalog of “Euretro-Genita Coverings for the Monumental Goddess” collection upon the unsuspecting Trans-Vatican.

The Robo-Pope never recovered, especially when he discovered that several of his Death Cardinals of Extreme Planetary Retribution kept copies of the catalog under their mattresses.

Alltop also has big dreams. Originally published in 2007.

From Toulouse Le Grandfig in the Land of the Future | photo by Odegaard

Zoological Wonders from Planet Earth

By on June 10, 2009 in Toulouse Le Grandfig

French HarpyThe French Harpy once roamed free in the pre-Euclidian Dynamic Structure Era, somewhat before the ascendancy of today’s Hyper-Clones, but well after the Genetic Fruit-Topping Wars.

When we say, “roamed”, we really mean “flew”, because as you can see from this French Harpy we meticulously reconstructed from a fragment of DNA, the Frarpy — as it was known colloquially — had rudimentary legs that was incapable of doing much more than gripping tree branches and wallets. Even from a flying perspective, the Frarpy was not well-designed, and could barely achieve enough velocity to cause lift.

However, they had pinpoint accuracy whenever they wanted to crap on someone, and a voice that was excruciating. The only other species of harpy with a more painful call was the Asian Harpy, though they tended to be less well-endowed and not nearly as nice dressers.

Alltop and humor-blogs.com prefer the Asian harpy.

From Toulouse Le Grandfig in the Land of the Future.