Tag Archives | Peyote

Dr. Tundra versus the flashmob zombies

Zombie priest eating babyDr. Maximilian Tundra had never felt so paranoid.

Earlier that day he’d lost his medical license; luckily, he also had a PhD in biochemistry, so he would still get everyone call him “doctor”. But it was the loss of easy access to pharmaceuticals that was the problem.

No, he had to be honest with himself: the problem was the special Halloween pumpkin-and-peyote-extract milkshake he’d had at breakfast, a couple hours before the hearing.

Four hours later the anxiety and fear were at their highest. He knew that, but of course, he didn’t have complete control over it.

Then he saw the zombies.

Serious, honest-to-god zombies. They filled the street. A small group of brain-hungry shufflers were chasing patrons out of an Aldo store and biting them. There was a zombie staring right at Dr. Tundra. It looked like he used to be a priest and was finishing off an afternoon snack of tasty baby.

The screams were horrible, terrifying. Already unhinged by his de-licensing and the ill-advised peyote pick-me-up, Dr. Tundra started to shake. If he’d had more control over his body, Tundra would have run, but he didn’t.

What he did have was his .45. And enough practice that he was confident the fear and mescaline would not ruin his aim.

“Shoot for the head,” he reminded himself, as he approached the mob of zombies. Many of them seemed to be laughing and having a good time. He thought that was odd. Zombies shouldn’t laugh.

And he certainly didn’t think they would run away.

Alltop and enjoys its morning milkshake. Photo by thebigdurian. Originally published October, 2009.

Total(ly rocked) lunar eclipse

Total lunar eclipse, Feb. 20, 2008My dog, Calypso, and I braved the twenty-below temperatures last night so that we could enjoy the total lunar eclipse. (Actually, the dog was more interested in the trash left out for garbage pickup the next morning, but she was into the spirit of a long walk/refuse buffet.)

First of all, this was a total lunar penumbral eclipse. Not one of your wussy partial eclipses. (You know it’s a total, full-on, sexy eclipse when the moon enters the earth’s penumbral shadow — it’s so dirty.)

As I watched the bright moon turn a kind of weird rusty-orange color, Calypso found a chicken bone. After a short fight in which we both growled excessively, she was relieved of said morsel. I looked up, and what could I see, but two bright stars, Regulus and the planet Saturn, who were also kind of turned on by earth’s penumbral shadow.

It was getting freaky!

Then I noticed something strange happening in the south — was some weirdo trying to shine a spotlight on the moon? No a whole bunch of spotlights. Why were they changing? Why so green-looking? Then it was obvious what was happening, it was the northern lights. And there they were off to the east, and north as well.

Either that or the peyote was kicking in.

A spectacular time-lapse video of polar aurora:

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Similar to polar aurora, humor-blogs.com is produced by the collision of charged particles from the humor-sphere with Earth’s blogo-sphere. Photo Credit: Rhondle. More on auroras and last night’s lunar eclipse [wiki] You can also watch 13 more time-lapse wonders at Fogonazos.