Tag Archives | the lost powerpoint slides

The Lost PowerPoint Slides (The Model Parliament Edition)

Edward IEdward I presents “Hammering Scots is Expensive” (circa 1295) –> Slide 3

  • the War Wolf
  • largest trebuchet ever built
  • but it can hurl 300 lb stones a great distance
  • even Scots afraid of it
  • but dear, so I’ll call Parliament to get taxes.

Edward I presents “Parliament Summons” (circa 1295) –> Slide 1

  • what touches all
  • should be approved by all
  • common dangers met by common agreement.

Edward I presents “Parliament Summons” (circa 1295) –> Slide 2

I need taxes to:

  • hammer Scots
  • flay French
  • wail on Welsh insurgents.

Edward I presents “Parliament Summons” (circa 1295) –> Slide 4

  • seven earls
  • 42 barons
  • one proctor for every cathedral
  • two clerics of each diocese.
  • two knights of each shire
  • two citizens of each city
  • two burgesses of each borough to be elected
  • and the King (me), naturally.

Geoffrey, Burgess of Bury St.-Pluperfect presents “Quid Pro Quo” (circa 1295) –> Slide 5

  • wonderful having been invited and elected to Parliament
  • we will have given Your Majesty taxes
  • after you have already address our grievances.

Edward I presents “Bugger” (circa 1295) –> Only slide

  • I have to be accountable?
  • What have I started?

The Model Parliament: another step towards English democracy. These dudes didn’t have anything to do with it.

The Lost Power Point Slides (Napoleon Surrenders Edition)

Napoleon SurrendersNapoleon surrenders to the English, July 15, 1815

Napoleon presents “country gent” exile to Prince Regent –>last slide

If I surrender, you will:

  • exile me from my beloved France
  • let me live a quiet life in the English countryside
  • allow me to bring my own chef

I will not:

  • call you “smelly beef eaters”
  • take over Europe again.

Prince Regent presents “hellish exile” solution to Prime Minister –>slide 6

Main provisions:

  • St. Helena
  • bad food
  • poison too (just to hedge our bets).

On board the HMS Bellerephon, Captain Frederick Maitland explains change in plans –>slide 12 & 13

  • no, not going to take you to Lake Country
  • no, you will not have private chef on board
  • no, the Billy Ruffian will not take you to St. Helena.
  • from here we sail to Torbay, so tourists can gawk at you for a while
  • the Northumberland takes you to St. Helena.
  • no! No private chef!