Little Ricky suspects that his alliance with Hannibal “The Cannibal” Toestubbings is not as solid as he thought.
Professor Quippy: You will give me my ba-ba
So have you ever had the experience of an infant staring deeply into your eyes while he surreptitiously dumps the Cheerios you were feeding him on the floor?
You have been the victim of the baby Jedi mind trick, according to new research from the UK.
According to the Globe and Mail:
Sweet little infants actually learn to deceive before they can talk, says University of Portsmouth psychology department head Vasudevi Reddy in a study that challenges traditional notions of innocence while confirming many parents’ suspicions about their sneaky babies.
Dr. Reddy says not to panic. The babies aren’t doomed to a life of fibbing, they’re just learning social interaction.
In addition to the Jedi mind trick [you will buy The Amadeus Net], babies also try to fool us with:
- fake crying
- subtle manipulations of intention
- statistics.
Happy 4th of July!
Happy 231st USA! A b-day link for you:
Ask General Kang: Do you pardon your followers, even if they did something wrong?
I would never pardon a follower if they did ME wrong, but if they made a “mistake” and were then penalized by the legal community, I might decide to save them from doing prison time — particularly if they’re a delicate primate who wouldn’t last very long in a prison population composed of heavier hominids with questionable sexual practices.
I once had an aide-de-camp, a ethically deficient uber-chimp named “Pipper”, who was a consummate lickspittle. Pipper did everything I told him, no matter how demeaning or insane. I mean, I once asked him to take the Imperial Shuttle to the Immersia VI to get me a shrimp-and-banana frappe in the middle of a close fought battle with the Slug People of Neebie-neebie. (The Gorilloid-with-Fezes Brigade finally turned the tide of battle in our favor when they abandoned their signature broadswords for salt shakers.)
But Pipper was quite happy to get me the frappe, even though Immersia VI is an all-water planet, and he can’t even swim.
And then he was arrested for illegally wire-tapping a few of the other Imperial uber-chimp’s phones. Now, technically speaking, he wasn’t allowed to do that, even though I’d ordered it, so he was convicted. But in the end, I kept him out of the soap-dropping machine.
What if they do something wrong to you?
Well, let’s just say there wouldn’t be much less for the judicial system to convict.
Next time: Even though I’m thinking positive thoughts, this black hole continues to suck me into its event horizon — what am I doing wrong?
Happy Canada Day
140 Years and Still a Democracy! Of course, the cynics among you might say we haven’t gotten there yet. From the archives, some Canada Day (Dominion Day for you die-hards) goodies:
The Afrikaners of East Nissouri (Emily Chesley fiction, set on Dominion Day)
The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Biting Off Canadian Mythology Edition) — heh, heh.
US DEA ask Canada to Extradite Cows
Plus, another fine Carnival of the Insanities.
Saturnaliaist
Whoa, content on a Saturday?
Not much, really, but some good stuff nevertheless.
Archer is one funny lawyer, and is a satirical bastard to boot. He never submits anything to the carnival, but he should. This bit about the CheneyThing is a fine example of his wit.
And the great-great-grandaddy carnival is still going strong over at Siflay Hraka. You’ll find a fine sampling of posts at the anniversary edition of the Carnival of the Vanities.