Letters of Annoyance

Published Letters

There are inane slogans in the Forest City!
(The London Free Press)

Stop with the lists already!
(National Post)

The Year 2000
(Globe & Mail)

Letter of Annoyance

DaimlerChrysler Corporation
Outside Suggestions Office
CIMS: 483-01-07
800 Chrysler Drive East
Auburn Hills, MI 48326-2757

Dear Sirs,

We wish to express our most considerable annoyance over misleading and dangerous advertising sanctioned by your company. We refer to the television commercial in which dolphins are seen diving through an open Chrysler Minivan. This advertisement sets a dangerous precedent for Minivan owners and could also lead to severe injury for an already threatened species of marine life.

Parking large vehicles on wooden docks is a dangerous enterprise at best. Your television commercial condones such behavior. Why? So that peaceful and intelligent sea creatures can perform mindless tricks using an automobile as no more than a circus hoop!

We sincerely doubt that you have thought through all of the implications of provided such a tempting target of frolic to these gentle creatures. Dolphins are a bright species. But are they aware that many older vans have sliding doors on only one side? It is but a matter of time until somebody parks a van, with sliding doors on only one side, on dock somewhere. We can think of no greater spoiler for pleasant seaside lunch than to be interrupted by a loud crash followed by the forlorn clicking and whistling from the back seat of minivan 300 pounds of injured sea mammal.

This television commercial is only the most recent example of flagrant inaccuracies in your advertisements. We note, for example, that many of your advertisements for Minivans include a dog. We have many friends who have purchased Chrysler Minivans and as yet none of them have received a canine.

In future commercials that feature dolphins leaping through Minivans we suggest the following cautions be provided:

Not responsible for insecure dock work.
Do not attempt with real dolphins.
Only specially trained dolphins were used in this commercial.
Dog not included.

These cautions should be provided by narrator voice over and not by obscure and impossible to read small print on the television screen. We hope that these suggestions will be treated with the same amount of seriousness in which they are given.

Sincerely

John Sloan
On behalf of The Emily Chesley
Reading Circle

CC: David Barry

The Emily Chesley Reading Circle was established to further the study of Emily Chesley, a long-overlooked Canadian speculative fiction writer of the late-Victorian period, who lived for some time in the London, Ontario region.

Letters of Annoyance and Letters of Approval are produced by the Circle as a service to the public.

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Web Monkey : Mark A. Rayner



	Published Letters There are inane slogans in the Forest City! (The London Free Press) Stop with the lists already! (National Post) Re: 'proactive' (Globe & Mail) The Year 2000 (Globe & Mail)				Letter of Annoyance DaimlerChrysler Corporation Outside Suggestions Office CIMS: 483-01-07 800 Chrysler Drive East Auburn Hills, MI 48326-2757 Dear Sirs, We wish to express our most considerable annoyance over misleading and dangerous advertising sanctioned by your company. We refer to the television commercial in which dolphins are seen diving through an open Chrysler Minivan. This advertisement sets a dangerous precedent for Minivan owners and could also lead to severe injury for an already threatened species of marine life. Parking large vehicles on wooden docks is a dangerous enterprise at best. Your television commercial condones such behavior. Why? So that peaceful and intelligent sea creatures can perform mindless tricks using an automobile as no more than a circus hoop! We sincerely doubt that you have thought through all of the implications of provided such a tempting target of frolic to these gentle creatures. Dolphins are a bright species. But are they aware that many older vans have sliding doors on only one side? It is but a matter of time until somebody parks a van, with sliding doors on only one side, on dock somewhere. We can think of no greater spoiler for pleasant seaside lunch than to be interrupted by a loud crash followed by the forlorn clicking and whistling from the back seat of 300 pounds of injured sea mammal. This television commercial is only the most recent example of flagrant inaccuracies in your advertisements. We note, for example, that many of your advertisements for Minivans include a dog. We have many friends who have purchased Chrysler Minivans and as yet none of them have received a canine. In future commercials that feature dolphins leaping through Minivans we suggest the following cautions be provided: Not responsible for insecure dock work. Do not attempt with real dolphins. Only specially trained dolphins were used in this commercial. Dog not included. These cautions should be provided by narrator voice over and not by obscure and impossible to read small print on the television screen. We hope that these suggestions will be treated with the same amount of seriousness in which they are given. Sincerely John Sloan On behalf of The Emily Chesley Reading Circle CC: David Barry
					The Emily Chesley Reading Circle was established to further the study of Emily Chesley, a long-overlooked Canadian speculative fiction writer of the late-Victorian period, who lived for some time in the London, Ontario region. Letters of Annoyance and Letters of Approval are produced by the Circle as a service to the public. Emily's Bio \| The Oeuvre \| Flannigan Bio \| Inventions Associated Figures \| Literary Contest \| The Frolics Store About the Circle \| Search this Site \| Home Join our mailing list or send us email. All written material, graphics, logo, and html coding © copyright 2003-2005 The Emily Chesley Reading Circle Web Monkey : Mark A. Rayner