Letters of Annoyance

Dear Mr. Schuessler,

We would like to register our tentative approval for your current advertising campaign promoting Wendy's "late night pick-up window".

We have not yet tried this service, or even seen anything of the
commercials beyond the eye-catching slogan. Regardless, we are thoroughly
appreciative of the degree to which Wendy has shown herself to be in tune
with our "appetites." As regular late night boulevardiers, we require
after-hours service following our monthly "Library Nights." Further, as
occasional business travelers we tend to find ourselves in unfamiliar
environs in search of recognizable and scrumptious "morsels."

It is our fond hope that Wendy's new "pick-up" service will significantly
reduce our "hunger."

We are unable to issue our definitive approval for this service, having not
yet seen the full menu and pricing. We are, however, optimistic that the
prices will be reasonable, the premises clean and -- most importantly -- the
"selection" fresh and tasty. Wendy has never yet disappointed us (with the
possible exception of not including poutine on her menu of toothsome
foodstuffs)*.

To be honest, we have never had much luck in "picking-up" late at night.
Admittedly, this may be due to an overall paucity of good looks, talent and
charm among our membership. However, 4 out of 5 scholars agree that our
difficulties are more likely related to a complete absence of money in our
poignantly slender wallets.

While we have a lot of spare time and would be tempted to write in any
event to praise such a laudable concept as Wendy's "late night pick-up
window", we want you to know we have been encouraged by your Customer Service department's warm and welcoming communications policy:

"We'd love to hear your comments or questions about Wendy's or this web
site. While we are unable to respond to every piece of mail personally due
to the high volume we receive, your comments will be given serious
consideration."

With this supportive approach in mind, we remain confident that our
comments will be taken with the seriousness in which they are given.

Yours sincerely,

D. Bartholomew Lurie, Flyboy
On behalf of the Emily Chesley Reading Circle

*PS. We are pleased to help ameliorate your poutine deficiency and expand
your minds and bill of fare by providing you with the following gastronomic
information:

Recipe for Poutine
Ingredients -- Homemade golden french fries, cheese curds, gravy
Directions -- Mix french fries and cheese, then pour the gravy on top. Let
the cheese melt. Ingest.