From the Book of Mustelids
And before the World is scourged by the Mother of Harlots, there will be a time when a swampy town south of Babylon will be ravaged by giant, man-eating weasels.
These Honeyed Badgers of Great Size and Swiftness shall have the strength of the bear, the nose of a monkey and the cunning of a politician. They shall be fearless, and they shall be released upon the people of Swampy Town by invaders from a tiny island populated by savages with bad teeth.
And lo! Many of these savages will hail from upland regions of their foggy island — a place where they distill the Water of Life, and torture their enemies with bags of air and pipes, and wear skirts even though they be men — and it is these Mustelid Scotti that shall hide the Ginormous Badgers of Armageddon in their furry man-pouches and set them against the people of Swampy Town.
The Great Badgers will be fearless, and rend cow, and sheep, and they will gnaw on the leg bones of the people Swampy Town. Or bite their bums.
Comments are closed.