The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Letter from Wolfers Edition)

On names (slide one)

Baptized Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Gottlieb) Mozart
That fourth name variously translated to:

• Amadeus (Latin)
• Gottlieb (German)
• Amadeo (Italian)
• Amadè(French)

On names (slide four)

• All-in-all, prefer Amadè
• Close friends and family can call me “Wolfers”
• YOU can lick my arse!
• ‘Till it’s clean!

Papa was a pimp (slide two)

• And I was the boy mawke, as they say in London.
• A famous pianist, as you know.
• Pianist, pianist, pianist!

Papa was a pimp (slide three)

• And my sister Nannerl, she was a bunter too.
• A prodigious player of pianii.

Johann Christian Bach (slide four)

• shown me how to put a lovely surface texture on piano sonata in B-flat
• plus it sounds good with dramatic farts!

Constanze (slide twelve)

• Light of my life
• Puts up with long nights, expense of candles
• Did I mention her cunny?

Prague (slide two)

• My Praguers understand me.
• They liked Don Giovani.
• And my pizzle-fizzle!

Composing (slide six)

• Difficult work.
• Requires rewriting.
• And a place to shit!

Death (slide two)

• Would have lived longer without all the bleeding.
• Oh, and the piss!

Alltop is marginally more foul-mouthed. Inspired by Mozart’s 255th birthday (yesterday). Originally published in January, 2006. Brought to you by The Amadeus Net, which features our caca-mouthed composer .