The Carnival of the Vanities (#190)

Welcome to the party, hosted this week at The Skwib. As his regular advice column has been pre-empted for the Carnival, we thought we’d ask General Kang to do the honors and introduce the categories and posts.

Kang’s Picks for the Tutu Brigade:

As you know, I am an Intergalactic Warlord always looking for new talent. I prefer to enlist chimps in my elite Tutu Brigade (they are able to carry off the tutus-and-plasma rifle combination the best, sartorially speaking); however, these bloggers seem to have what it takes to write a compelling entry, so perhaps they are ready for life in Kang’s Army.

Tynan at Better Than Your Boyfriend has a tale of spelunking gone wrong in Exploring Airman’s Cave. Warning: if you are claustrophobic, this may be freak you out. Thag didn’t know what the big deal was all about, but then, he’s a caveman, what does he know?

GrrlScientist tears MONEY Magazine a new one in Someone’s Fantasy World (at Living the Scientific Life). We noticed this survey as well, and thought it was suspect. You go GrrlScientist!

Despite his non-primate form, Aloysius Katz always entertains us here at The Skwib, and this SAT-question-slash-post is no exception: Hairballs are to creativity as ringtones are to Ghana: huhudious posted at Catymology.

We liked the simplicity of this post, and the clarity of the message. Smilerz presents Victory Over Terrorism One Man At A Time.

And to round out potential plasma-rifle fodder, we have Ahistoricality, who is blogging against disablism in this lovely post titled: The Seeing Spouse.

Satire & ‘umor

Mark let me host only if I promised to give satire and ‘umor top billing after my picks. And to mention that The Skwib hosts the weekly Carnival of Satire. He will pay when my fleet arrives!

Wendy Boswell at Snarky Gossip has an edition of Separated at Birth – Jessica Simpson and Orange BoohBah. Unfortunately, Dr. Tundra had a peyote milkshake slightly before reading this post, and Orange BoohBah caused what can only be described as an “explosive” reaction. We’re still not sure what it is — it reminded me of the Tregdolian Ambassador before I had it shaved and fed to my gnarg-dogs, but I’m sure Wendy does not have a faster-than-light starship to get to Tregdolia, so I doubt that’s it.

Jon Swift has some fine satire in A Government Agency By Any Other Name.

El Capitan at Baboon Pirates discovers the thrill of Cadillac Flambé. Note: this post is engagingly illustrated by the writer in the Neo-Stick Figure style (the early period), made famous by the Neecknabian uberchimp master, Bobo.

Abnu has congratulations for Stephen Colbert for coining the phrase, Wordanista, posted at Wordlab.

Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face presents Mary Jo Kopechne To Patrick Kennedy: “You Sir, Are No Ted Kennedy.”

Economics & Bizniz

You humans are fascinated with money, despite the fictional nature of its underpinnings. I find this amusing and will use it to my advantage when I take over your so-called Earth.

Pamela Slim, entrepreneur and trainer goes Che Guevera in an Open letter to CEOs, COOs, CIOs and CFOs across the corporate world posted at Escape from Cubicle Nation. A great post on how corporatations can stop sucking the life out of its drones workers.

Barry Welford at The Other Bloke’s Blog has a nice piece about how we are at The Search Engine Crossroads.

Crazyjimsmith at crazyjimsmith thinks that the National Australian Bank is Warm and Fuzzy – NOT! Does anyone else find it hilarious that the bank’s acronym/wordmark is NAB?

Wayne Hurlbert at Blog Business World has a book review of Management by Baseball.

Paul Knapp at Membox explains a few things he would need to see that would convince him there’s a skills shortage in IT. Thag says he agrees. In fact, Thag says: “him smart.”

Dave Lorenzo explains that you should Know Your Point of Origin posted at The Career Intensity Blog.

Dan Melson at Searchlight Crusade has some useful advice on Mortgage Closing Costs: What is Real and What is Junk?

In a related post, A Samuel at Nubricks.com bursts The Spanish Property Bubble.

We don’t know what ERISA Cases are, but Paul M. Secunda has the alarming news that the Number of ERISA Cases Are Skyrocketing. Run! Flee! ERISA is coming to eat your face, or do something to your pension.

Soccer Dad presents Every form of refuge has its price.

Nickel at fivecentnickel.com presents Worst. Job. Ever.

Adam at Creative Destruction presents Kill the DJ.

Arts, Culture & The Weeb

Sharon Hurley Hall at Sharon Hurley Hall’s blog explains Why Writers Should Use Social Bookmarking. I’m not sure if the world is ready for Dr. Tundra’s bookmarks, but it seems like good advice.

Mensa Barbie at Mensa Barbie Welcomes You has some really fascinating videos addressing Freudian Scenarios.

The Beauty Brains looks at Advances In Anti-Aging Lotions.

Miriam’s ideas presents Nine reasons for a woman to decline being a Muslim. Only nine?

Life, Death & Taxes

Kehaar has a brush with Death and Amateur Sports Too posted at Silflay Hraka.

Josh Cohen at Multiple Mentality ruminates on the death penalty and killing in Life vs Death.

F. D. Bryant III has a look at the FairTax Plan posted at Introduction to the Fair tax.

Politics

For bipedal hominids with large brains, you seem strangely fascinated with politics. Most of the primate species my army has conquered is happy to give up this source of rancor and petty squabbling. You will see understand after my crack Gorilloid troops have subdued you with their whiffle-clubs.

This however, is very interesting: For those of you just dying to know, Tulin has Philadelphia Political Events, Fundrasiers, and Lectures for the month of May posted at PoliticsPhilly.com . Dr. Tundra was very upset that he missed May 2nd’s coolest event, Drinking Liberally at Tangier.

Jack Cluth at The People’s Republic of Seabrook tries to understand why the ignorant and small-minded shall always be among us. Warning: some Michelle Malkin-related content in this post.

The Cranky Insomniac wonders Why we can’t all just get along.

Jack Yoesttakes on Hollywood Military Movies: Ryan vs Jarhead.

Kevin W at The Liberal Wrong Wing presents $100 Gas Rebate Idea Scrapped

Andrew Ian Dodge at Dodgeblogium discusses filth-wallowing in Lib-Dem & anti- Semitism.

Muse at shiloh musings presents The sound of silence.

Brian J. at Musings from Brian J. Noggle has musings when Socks Checks In.

And Muse at me-ander has some thoughts on One of those very “Israeli things”.

I am now officially be-mused.

Self Help for the Blogging Primate

FMF at Free Money Finance has some useful advice in the Eight Secrets of Financial Happiness.

Paula Gregorowicz has advice for what to do when Hitting the Wall and it’s not just for athletes, posted at Coaching4Lesbians.

Paul at Paul’s Tips has advice on How to get a job paying more than $100,000 a year. As soon as he saw the first point, “choose the right profession,” Mark knew he was screwed. He should think about becomging my apprentice: Intergalactic Warlords have great earning potential.

Paul at partiallobotomy.com — career advice for techies presents Asking the Dumb Question.

Dad at raising4boys.com discusses the merits of Sedating Your Kids on the Road. We always sedate the macaques on long space-flights.

My Bubble Life at My Bubble Life presents Transactional Communication.

Blogging about oneself, or one’s house

And these two last posts were very hard to categorize properly, but we think we have parsed the banana, so to speak.

Kiril Kundurazieff presents A Date to Remember, and to Celebrate posted at Sneakeasy’s Joint.

NOTR at ROFASix presents The Police Come to My House.

Thanks for visiting the carnival this week. Next week, this collection of human wisdom and wit (such as it is) will be hosted by Accidental Verbosity, that is, unless my fleet arrives first, in which case, prepare to bow to your new ape-overlord. More information about The Carnival of the Vanities is available at: harshlymellow.com/cotv.