The Lost Power Point Slides (Armada Edition)

King Phillip II presents “The English Are Pigs” (circa 1588) –> slide 6

• Murdered Mary Queen of Scots
• Keep burgling my Possessions in the New World
• They smell like trotters
• (And worship Satan, according to my good buddy, the Pope).

Media Sidonia presents “But I don’t want to be an admiral” (circa 1588) –> slide 3

• I agree, English are perfidious scum
• Pirates
• Protestants
• But you know I get seasick.

Sir Francis Drake presents “Just bowl, damn your eyes!” (circa July 20, 1588) –> only slide

• Look, I’m playing bowls here
• We’ve already done them at Cadiz easily
• There’s lots of time to finish this end and beat the Spanish
• Now watch me touch the jack
• No, not you, you pillock, the little white ball!

Lord Howard of Effingham presents “That bloody pirate” (circa August 8, 1588) –> slide 2

• Yes, Drake did a nice job scattering the Spanish fleet with fire ships
• And he did well getting the weather gauge and beating them at Gravelines
• Shouldn’t have stopped his pursuit to capture the Spanish galleon ‘Rosario’, even if it was loaded with gold.

Spanish Sailor Sergio Manandez presents “Ireland looks good” (circa late August, 1588) –>only slide

• Made it around Scotland
• Hurricane
• Can’t swim
• No anchor
• Looking forward to running aground in Ireland
• I’ve heard they’re friendly.

Queen Elizabeth I presents “No guts, no glory” (circa August 8, 1588) –>slide six

• Joined you here in Tilbury
• To live or die with you
• Have body of weak woman
• But heart and stomach of a King
• (And you’ll recall my father had quite a stomach.)

Anniversary of the Battle of Gravelines (August 8, 1588), when English defeated the Spanish Armada …. Okay, partially defeated the Armada. The weather did the rest.

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