Apparently, the proprietor of The Skwib is out of his tiny little mind, and he’s giving away Kindles. One for liking his Facebook page (when it reaches 2000, he’ll give one away, but you can also be entered by signing up for my newsletter) and one for every 75 copies of Marvellous Hairy sold.
There’s also a 1/10 chance to win a Kindle skin, if you’ve already got a Kindle!
You can get all the details here.
This seems like an appropriate cartoon for today. Looking forward to the Tribulation!
[recording starts]
Is this thing on?
Seriously. Is it on? I’m not getting any neural feedback.
You humans are so odd. You are human aren’t you? Why don’t you just implant a microphone in your scull — there’s lots of room. That way the rest of the world could hear the same voice you do.
Oh yeah, you don’t sound like that. Right. Everybody says that when they hear their recorded voice the first time. It’s so predictable.
But just imagine what it was like for us before we improved the speaker systems in our bonded polycarbide armor — our voices always came out so screechy and monotone. Here, let me play you an old recording:
“EX-TER-MIN-ATE!”
Oh that’s terrifying, isn’t it?
I mean, if we had deep booming voices like that Darth Vader dude, it would be frightening. But as it was, we sounded like the Chipmunks after a crack cocaine and peyote button binge. Gonzo alien invasion.
Don’t worry, I’d never probe you.
Of course I’m being sarcastic. That’s what we do. We probe you bastards every chance we get. Not only is it fun, we know you hate it. (Well, all but 10% of you.)
Frankly, we just can’t trust a species that can survive without mechanical and electronic augmentation.
Well naturally, that’s why we introduced the Internet to your planet. You don’t think you apes came up with it do you? The iPod too.
What is wrong with you? Don’t you understand sarcasm? Are you brain-damaged or something?
I’m sorry. You do work for the government, don’t you?
I see you’ve discovered how to open my armor. Well, let me tell you’re in for a surprise. Yes, I’m one of the most attractive women you’ve ever met Jimbo. I only use Sean Connery’s voice pattern because it sounds cool whenever I use the letter ‘s’.
[mechanical sigh]
Yes, sarcasm again. I’m actually a little green blob, and the armor just makes me feel big. And shiny. Just like a forty-year-old account exec in his Hummer.
I see you’ve got the outer carapace open. Well, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
[recording ends]
Few people know the Dutch painter Johannes Vermeer had an advanced understanding of modern physics, but only alluded to it in some of his works because he dare not reveal his knowledge. He lived in the mid-17th century, so if he went around talking about gravitational theories not dreamed of yet, he would have been locked up at best. (More likely — being burnt at the stake for witchcraft. Or warlockery, whatever they called it when men started raving about event horizons and the cosmic censorship hypothesis.)
This painting is actually called The Girl with the Pearl Earring, and was painted sometime around 1655. The artist may or may not have bumped uglies with the subject of this painting, even though she had a thing for weird headgear. Of course, if she looked like Scarlett Johansson, she could be wearing a live badger armed with hand grenades on her head and I wouldn’t care.
You can find more Famous Paintings with SF Titles here. If you do one of your own, let me know and I’ll add you to the gallery!
Brilliant sketch, though it does require the suspension of disbelief on a couple of fronts. This one, though, not so much. And just as hilarious.
Okay, this one is actually called The Birth of Venus, and it was painted sometime between 1485-86 for Lorenzo di Pierfrancesco de’ Medici, who was nicknamed Popolano; this was because he always brought lots of nice drugs to the cool parties. (He was a noted patron of the arts, and Sandro Botticelli was especially fond of Popolano’s “special” mushroom pasta.)
I’d say this is arguably one of the most famous paintings of the early renaissance, and it has certainly maintained its popularity. I was lucky enough to see this one in person at the Uffizi Gallery in Florence, and it’s a bit like the Mona Lisa in the Louvre — the painting is covered with glass, mobbed by Japanese tourists, and is stamped on everything from t-shirts to toilet-brush cozies. The glass is particularly unfortunate, as it’s highly reflective.
Then again, it has to be, in case of the Bufflaxians return and fire laser weapons at it.
You can find more Famous Paintings with SF Titles here.
