Archive | December, 2010

Irony alert!

Utopia - urban decay in Detroit

I saw this photo this morning, and a passage from my post-apocalyptic comedy, The Amadeus Net, came to mind. This is the character of Les Parsons, who is a retired Canadian diplomat, speaking:

If not for the Shudder, Canada would have disintegrated, like the United States did. And there is the supreme irony. A physical threat like the Shudder was capable of bringing our country together, while in the States, it was the final straw. The cracks in the American social system were the Achilles heel; all it took was the arrow, that chunk of rock hurtling out of space, to kill the body politic of that great nation. I know all this intimately, because that’s where I was stationed following the disaster. In the U.S. Actually, the Principality of New York. And then in Detroit, which is technically part of Canada now, thought most Canadians would never admit to it.

Photo by Jason Tester, via BoingBoing. More about The Amadeus Net at the publisher’s site. (You can also buy it there, hint, hint.)

Alltop has 10,000 spoons and no sense of irony.

The New Clone 12000 Helmet Finally Comes to Market

Clone HelmetThis fully functional metro-wanker-clone helmet will render your enemies helpless with laughter, right before you incinerate their lower intestines. Two Gigilo-Hertz-powered ocular particle beams makes the Clone 12000 more devastating than last month’s supernova in the Coagula System and only half as radioactive!

Decranialization is still a necessary feature of the Clone 12000, but Hyper-Clones will be happy to know that nearly half of the test group survived helmet implantation.

Other documented side effects include: Dry mouth (but not for long), urinary retention, blurred vision (while particle beams are operating), constipation, weight gain, crushing headaches, nausea, frequent explosive diarrhea, abdominal pain, inability to achieve an erection, inability to achieve an orgasm (male and female hyper-clones), loss of libido, agitation, anxiety, self-loathing, and some cyborgism.

Alltop also cause side effects. Originally published in 2007.

From Toulouse Le Grandfig in the Land of the Future.