Tag Archives | Bob

Bob was never a joiner

Conemen I by laurence.winram
Conemen I, a photo by laurence.winram on Flickr.

He had to admit the outfit was pretty spectacular, and the fringe benefits of membership were pretty good too — not only would it forestall your evisceration via tongs and razor-fingers, but you also got to run the world.

The Fraternity of the Cone had been in charge since the Counter-Reformation, but they’d kept their nifty hats mostly on the down-low, only wearing them on extended “hunts” and during their annual Ribfest. Bob had been tracked by the “recruitment committee” for several days in the Scottish Highlands (at least, Bob surmised it was Scotland — he’d awakened in the thick grass and heather instead of his Boston apartment two days ago.)

They just couldn’t seem to take no for an answer, and Bob thought they were serious about the tongs and finger-blades thing, so he had one of two choices: let them feed on his intestines, or vaporize them all with his laser vision. (He was a descendent of Queen Victoria.)

He sighed. So much for his white suit.

Alltop likes a good finger-blade. You can buy prints of laurence.winram’s excellent and surreal “conemen” series at his Flickr site.

The New Season of Mad Men

The new season of Mad MenIt had been an off-hand comment. Passionate, but completely unrehearsed.

They’d just finished watching the opening show of the new Mad Men season, and Bob turned to his wife Janice, and said, “you know, I really don’t think you could improve upon this show. This really is the best thing on television right now. No scratch that. The best thing NEAR television. There’s no way you could make it any better. I mean, it’s historically accurate. It’s dramatic. God-damned it Janice, it’s just fucking exciting. It’s the best thing ever, I tell you!”

Grinding her teeth, Janice thought, “Wait ’till you get back from work tomorrow … I’ll show you exciting…”

Alltop and humor-blogs.com think Joan is hot. Photo via Strange Ink.