From the Book of Libations
And in this time, there shall be a service created by the forces of darkness and it shall be unearthly and virtual, and the Unbelievers will call it Ebay. And unto the Heathen in the Land of Sinim, there shall be knock-off services, the shadow of a shadow.
Lo! The Sinim will be plagued with False Prophets, and the worst of these shall be Zhou. And he shall harvest the Saliva of the Virgins of Sinim. Abomination will be compounded by the Evils of Commerce. And Zhou will be forced to take the Spit of the Hotties off the market.
And he shall then gather the drool of the Virgins as they sleep. And sell that.
And there will be wailing. The sound of retching. And a great confusion.
Wanda and James fell in love when they were performing the off-off-off-Broadway production of Sid Whelp’s Mutant Buggery Marginal Headlice Bingo Floormop Pastrami-on-Rye Asphalt Follies. (Usually shortened to “The Mutant Follies”.) In addition to their love of the theatre, they shared a unique faith; they both belonged to an obscure sect of Zoroastrianism in which acolytes were sent forth into the world to torment unsuspecting minor officials by lacing their undergarments with Ben-Gay.