Tag Archives | excruciating album cover art

Excruciating Album Cover Art — Satan Is Real

The Louvin Brothers -- Satan Is RealThe Louvin Brothers are best known as the brotherly Bible-thumpers who made close harmony acceptable. Prior to the creation of their breakthrough sound (think Everly Brothers with Grand Ole Opry-style gospel music), close harmony singers were routinely burned at the stake for “unnatural” love.

Once they overcame this (terrible) stereotype, they became quite popular, joining the Grand Ole Opry in 1955. Ira Louvin was the charismatic one, and he was known for falling into “fits of faith” when he would paint portraits of the devil. (Who looks suspiciously like a red Oscar with slanted eyes and bucked teeth — Ira was tortured by the Japanese during the war and was overlooked by the Academy for his performance as “inbred hillbilly” in John Fjord’s “Up the River”.)

The Louvin Brothers are also the first nominally “Godly” singers to play with the power of backwards tracking. Close observers will have already figured out that the title track “Satan Is Real”, played backwards, will sound like “Lear, Sin At Ass”. Now, can imagine how creepy and disgusting that will sound in reverse harmony? You don’t have too. You can listen to this. [Warning: Not Safe, Period. Don’t listen to this if you value your sanity. Opens an MP3 file.]

If you think that is frightening don’t listen to either “Are You Afraid to Die?” or “Low and Lonely”. In test subjects, these tracks will cause aural stigmata and an unnatural desire to eat sausage-shaped cheeses.

For more excruciation, join Paul Zon at his Museum of Bad Album Cover Art, or join Alltop. Note: A professor at Britain’s Salford University, Trevor Cox, claims the sound file linked above is the worst sound in the world. Originally published in 2007.

Excruciating Album Cover Art — Heino

We’re not sure how Paul Zon got the idea for creating a Museum of Bad Album Covers, but it is brilliant, and hilarious. The Skwib would like to present (over the next two weeks, and then from time to time) samples from the museum with our humble notes:

Heino

Heino -- a chimera of Norman Bates and Andy WarholWe’ll begin with this gem from the Fatherland, Heino’s 1971 album, “Liebe Mutter…” (Full translation: “Dear Mother … a bouquet that never wilts.”) When we first saw this cover, we thought: “so that’s what happens when you create a genetic chimera from the DNA of Norman Bates and Andy Warhol.”

Then we thought: “His agony is gorgeous. We need to be slapped.”

Not that we’re not digging the whole “Sprockets” look, but it kind of creeped us out. The textures of this cover intrigue us. The red roses (a gesture of romantic love, no) are like tiny baby heads screaming their existential agony, and asking, “Mother, why did you cut us and arrange us so tastefully? We must wilt and make the suffering end!”

Plus, apparently this dude likes to sing songs the NAZIs enjoyed. Just sayin’. You can find more disturbing pictures of him here, but just to warn you, he’s kind of morphed from Andy Warhol to Teutonic Roy Orbison. (Actually, he looks a lot like Robert Shaw in “From Russia With Love.” )

And now, we’re emotionally obliterated. It is time to dance!

Alltop is emotionally flaccid. Visit the museum of bad album cover art here. You may also want to check out the Facebook group, shit record covers. Originally published 2007.