Tag Archives | Ontario

Me Doctor

Dr. Ganglia Intrusion Finger - Ontario GP

Dr. Ganglia Intrusion Finger did not inspire confidence.

He had an impeccable bedside manner and a truly impressive CV. He’d graduated first in his class, and then gone on to study experimental neurosurgery at John Hopkins before ultimately deciding that he “wanted to practice ‘real medicine’ and not be a simple ‘meat mechanic’.”

Of course, Dr. Finger was being somewhat disingenuous when he said so; his nurse practitioner and general manager always took some care with new patents to explain about his failed attempt to do a right hemispherectomy on himself to “take the edge off.”

Sure. The hat was distracting. Not to mention odoriferous. And yes, the lit match was a worry, but his practice was in Ontario, so most of his patients were just happy to have any family doctor at all.

Photo Credit: Bolandrotor. Also not qualified to practice medicine. Do you have a family doctor, ’cause I’ve heard Dr. Finger is still accepting patients.

Weee, we have an asteroid named after us!

london, ontario logoI guess the video below is supposed to excite people about moving to London, Ontario. While I do not doubt that any of the long list of London’s accomplishments are true, some of them come across as damning us with faint praise.

For example, early in the video the line: “where global ambitions are realized at the 12th best business school in the world” actually made me laugh. I thought it was going to be a spoof. Perhaps, “where global ambitions are realized at one of the best business schools in the world” makes the point without the whiff of podunkism I detect.

But seriously, London is great because Johnny Cash proposed to the wife he made miserable here? Hey, didn’t Elvis Presley eat a grilled cheese sandwich at Simpson’s in London, Ontario? (Actually, the video is quite accurate about the good food — we have a lot of great restaurants for a relatively small city.)

Johnny Cash wasn’t even Canadian, let alone a Londoner. What about actual Londoners we should be proud of? Tommy Hunter is a famous country singer (well, in Canada), and he was born in London. What about Guy Lombardo? No mention of Emily Chesley? Outrageous!

Still, at least Asteroid 12310 is named after us. I just think “Welcome to Asteroid 12310, Population 365,000” is going to be confusing on the signs at the edge of town.

Now, the video:

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After, perhaps you can go visit humor-blogs.com, where it will be slightly less silly. Or, if you’re from London and you’d like to improve efforts to market our beautiful city (and it is), you can check out the Ambassador London website.