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Ask General Kang: What did you think of the Speech from the Throne?

By on October 17, 2007 in Ask General Kang

Ask General KangFrankly, I was surprised.

I’m probably revealing my bias, but I didn’t think that nice Haitian-Canadian lady would be so right wing. (Which was kind of hot.) And what’s the deal with her anyway? Is she your Overlord? I thought you Canadians had a “democracy”. And why did the pasty pudgy dude keep staring at her while she read from a book? Is he her pimp?

And don’t politicians normally memorize their speeches?

Besides, there weren’t nearly enough beheadings, so I switched to the hockey game.

(Also not enough beheadings, but still at least a violent as a match of Super-Ball in the Cranium-Smash League back home)

Next time: What is the meaning of life? And is it available at Best Buy?

Sunday O-Rama

By on October 14, 2007 in General Skwib

Additional Updates: A very scary Bookworm Carnival!
Update: A late-breaking carnival, and one not to miss: The Carnival of Military History.

As always, it’s nice to start off your Sunday with a little madness: The Carnival of the Insanities.

You can find the Friday Ark (already at sea by Sunday) if you’re looking for furry companionship.

And if you’re feeling a little down, some Pastafarianism may cheer you up too:


via videosift.com

The Carnival of Satire (#85)

By on October 11, 2007 in Carnival of Satire

The Carnival of Satire (#85)
Wow, did the nuts ever pile up around here this week! Like a squirrel preparing for the winter, we were kept hopping sorting through all the tasty satire. There is quite a lot of it to entertain, enrage and embarrass you in this 85th edition. Enjoy!

Madeleine Begun Kane presents poesy in a light shade of red: Not Tickled Pink About Girlish Pink Guns. It’s worse than she thinks: it is also one of the Forty-Seven Signs of the Apocalypse.

I’m still not sure how Gavin R. Putland got overlooked for the Nobel in Economics (or whatever it’s actually called). This proposal for Cap-and-trade blog licensing is brilliant.

You know, you wouldn’t guess it, but Lolcats have been around since the middle ages.

Bree Barton does more than perform well, she engages us in a tail of definite articles with Pee Post â„¢: The Legacy .

Sammy Benoit has a list of creative interrogation techniques not to be missed: Whitehouse Announces Change in Torture Methods. At least we’re all at least calling it torture now.

lordsomber has a hilarious review of the Brew of the Day: Caffè de Gallina di Cacao.

Lord Bonkers is celebrating the fight against slavery in Rutland as only an Edwardian peer can.

Just set it, and forget it! AdamF has the secrets for How To Create A Late Night Infomercial.

Rickey Henderson delves into the terrifying Halloween tradition of making a Jack-o-lantern Fun With Arts & Crafts.

Continue Reading →

Help the Greens and Get a Book!

By on October 9, 2007 in General Skwib

Green PartyWe interrupt our usual Skwibbish inanity for this political message:

The Green Party has the potential to win a seat in the Ontario Election, and they need a bit of help to get over the top. You can read about Shane Jolley and his race to win a seat in Bruce-Grey Owen Sound here. I’m not sure about where you live, but Ontario desperately needs some new ideas to get voiced in the legislature. Canada too.

So, if you donate to Shane’s campaign, the Green Party or even if you can get up to Owen Sound and help with canvassing, I’ll send you a copy of THE AMADEUS NET.

Just send me an email to greens@markarayner.com with your address, and let me know what you did to help! You don’t have to be in Ontario or even in Canada.

You can donate to Shane’s campaign here, or you can give to the Green Party’s overall war chest here. If you donate $10.02 then the party will know it was for Shane’s campaign.

The Green Party platform is here.

Professor Quippy: Tea, fluoride and bad British teeth

By on October 9, 2007 in Odd Science, Parody & Satire

Professor QuippyWe Brits are fond of our tea. We are also stereotyped (especially amongst American fans of The Simpsons) for our bad teeth.

Now we know why.

It’s not just that Americans (and Canadians too, you smug bastards) are obsessed with having perfect teeth. It is because of tea. One of the most popular sources of tea — Ceylon, or Sri Lanka as it is known now — grows with the help of fluoride-rich water. The tea picks up the fluoride.

Fluoride is added to water to strengthen tooth enamel and reduce the number of calories, but if you take too much of it, it results in fluorosis; this makes your teeth brittle and discoloured. (How ironic!) Four cups of Ceylon tea will deliver enough fluoride to put you over the recommended daily maximum and yield you a smile like Austin Powers.

Of course, most Brits drink at least 12 cups a day — it is the best way to repress common nuisance emotions such as: embarrassment, shame, and any kind of joy.

New Scientist Story: Tea might pose fluoride risk

I’m thankful for archives!

By on October 8, 2007 in General Skwib, Skwibby fiction

roast turkey with skull and crossbonesHappy Thanksgiving all you fellow Canucks out there. While you nosh on turkey (tofurkey) or whatever — I will be at the bbq making steaks tonight to celebrate the event and the 28-plus-humidex weather (about 12000 Fahrenheit for everyone south of the border) — here is something from the Skwib archives. While A Traditional ‘Christmas’ at the Tundra Household is not about Thanksgiving per se, it does feature turkeys, and makes me thankful that my family is so normal.