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Even MORE Carnivals

By on October 11, 2005 in General Skwib

Wow, there is a lot going on. Okay, I somehow missed the Storytelling Carnival yesterday, hosted at tales by sheya. This is an example of how to be a gracious host, despite her creationist leanings, she still published a link to Dr. Tundra in the Dock (and two other stories). I enjoyed “A Pirate Looks At 28”, which posits, what if we outsourced IT to pirates? I notice that there are more flash fiction and short-short stories being sent to this carnival, which makes it easier to dip in and read online.

And The Skwib participated in its first-ever Carnivalesque (IX), hosted at alun. This edition is all about ancient and medieval history, with a Halloween theme thrown in. There is lots of interest if you love history! A bonus feature is a crossword puzzle based on the entries provided. Very creative.

Carnival of Liberty #15

By on October 11, 2005 in General Skwib

This week there is a rockin’ good Carnival of Liberties that I would encourage the libertarian-leaning all readers to go enjoy, hosted at Combs Spouts Off, with excellent synopsis work done by RG Combs. I think if you read through some of the posts, you can see why Leonard Cohen makes fun of the concept of “left” and “right” in his song Democracy — it’s trying to reduce complexity to simple concepts and I think everyone needs to keep their minds open to the complex.

In terms of some posts I really liked, if Canada had the same kind of traditions, I’d say that we should have our own new Tea Party too, as suggested at Eric’s Grubles from the Grave, who is a little sick of politicians wasting our hard-earned tax dollars. (Yes, we have the same problem in Canada. Perhaps we could call this anti-pork/waste/corruption movement “teabagging”. Oh, no, wait…)

I also enjoyed Peter Porcupine’s Freedom of the Press Belongs to Him Who Owns One, which discusses the Archbishop of Cantebury’s disgust that the web is “close to unpoliced conversation”. Horrors. Mill put it best:

If all mankind minus one were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justifying in silencing mankind.

Okay, that’s all a little more serious than normal. I’ll go back to talking about zombies now. Or better yet, go check out the Bonfire of the Vanities, ably hosted by Laurence at This Blog Is Full of Crap.

The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Thanksgiving Edition)

By on October 10, 2005 in The Lost PowerPoints

image of a disturbingly happy guy with guitarMark A. Rayner presents: “I’m thankful for…” (slide 1)

Mark A. Rayner suggest things YOU might be thankful for (only slide):

  • this guy does not appear to haunt your dreams nightly with a chilling rendition of “I Am I Said”, particularly the high pitched wailing when he hits:
    “I am,” I said
    To no one there
    An no one heard at all
    Not even the chair

Thanks for the Carnivals!

By on October 10, 2005 in General Skwib

It’s Thanksgiving here in Canada, and frankly, we’re thankful for this whole carnival thing. The Conservative Cat presents his Monday funny stuff here, giving The Skwib lead off honors.

A couple more to check out this morning. First, there is the roundup of great stuff from 60 days ago, at the Best of Me Symphony, hosted at The Owner’s Manual, by Scott Adams (of Dilbert fame, wink, wink).

And as usual, there is the Carnival of the Capitalist, which is celebrating its second anniversary, hosted this week by Business Pundit. (Is it me, or there a LOT of pundits?) At any rate, my thanks to Rob there for hosting a busy carnival.

Both arms? Yes, and the rest of the body too.

By on October 7, 2005 in General Skwib, Odd Science

image of LifeGem diamondWomen, don’t let your man dissuade you from getting the diamond ring you’ve always wanted! Now there’s a way to get around the inconvenient moral problem of conflict diamonds. Turn to LifeGem, a company that uses super-heated ovens to turn the ashes of your loved one into a blue or yellow diamond. (With a retail value of $2,700 – $20,000 US.)

Of course, you will need the cremated remains of someone to put into the super-heated oven. [Ed. note: obvious joke cut due to its bad taste.] Failing that, you could always buy a Canadian diamond if you don’t have someone to put in said oven.

Bill Maher joke about conflict diamonds, referred to in the title, can be found (roughly) here.

Alternate History Fridays: Dr. Tundra In the Dock

By on October 7, 2005 in Parody & Satire, Skwibby fiction

Urizen creates the Holy WritThe Bailiff announced: “all rise for the Reverend Judge Solomon Dungry.”

Dr. Tundra watched as the Reverend Judge entered the Court. The inquisitor was a tall, cadaverous man, with piercing blue eyes and lips that were so thin, you could only see them when he scowled, which he did most of the time. He took his seat, a low bench next to a tall cross on his dais, and said: “everyone but the accused may sit.”

“That’s you,” Dr. Tundra’s Writ-appointed lawyer told him — a well-meaning man, but weak, and clearly a cog in this fundamentalist system.

“You are accused of three counts of heresy, Dr. Tundra,” the Bailiff read from a clipboard. “One — you have purposefully taught the heretical notion of evolution. Two — you have posited another Supreme Being than Our Christian Lord, God. Three, you have called this False God the Flying Spaghetti Monster.”

“How do you plead?”

“Not guilty of course,” Dr. Tundra said. “But may I ask, am I not entitled to a trial by jury?”

The judge stood up, as did the rest of the Court. “No, heretic, you are not.”

“But doesn’t the Constitution grant me –”

“No, it does not. Before I pass sentence,” the Reverend Judge said, “may I ask what possessed you to do these things? Surely you knew of our Holy Writ before you came to America to teach?” Continue Reading →