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Carnival of Satire #2

By on September 29, 2005 in Carnival of Satire, General Skwib

Carnival of Satire #2, picture of gorillaOkay, this thing seems to be gathering some steam, though we have noticed that the satire gene seems to skews right. However, we like to offend everyone at The Skwib, so fair enough. (We should add that opinions of the participants do not necessarily mirror those of the multiple personalities normally on display here, and that we do not really believe left and right have any meaning anyway.)

Please remember, that this Carnival is about satire, so if your post didn’t get linked, then it could be that it wasn’t quite satirical enough for the tastes of the editorial team. We could be wrong . . . we frequently are. If you want to know what we think satire is, please check out Mark’s essay, Satire’s Ugly Sisters.

Let’s kick things off with a brilliant lampoon from Laurence Simon at IFOC News. This parody news story, Breach Floods N.O. Ninth Ward Again, made Dr. Tundra spew coffee all over the room. (Could have been the peyote buttons too.)

Continuing with the media theme, Remulak MoxArgon at The MoxArgon Group presents Episode # 7: What’s With the Earthling Media?. One wonders why General Kang was not invited to participate — probably seemed too liberal, what with his French clothes and tiny feet.

Gary Cruse at The Owner’s Manual presents the initially baffling EUlogy, but if you are a clever web consumer (which clearly Thag is not) this is actually quite funny if you read the linked story first. (And don’t hit the computer with your club.)

Two Dogs at Mean Ol’ Meany presents the pithy Burger King’s Corrected Ice Cream Thingy

Nickie Goomba at Nickie Goomba takes us back to the blame game with Mayor sez: ‘Ignore the Feds’

Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face continues the blame game with Unable To Use “Stupid”, Press Conference Breaks Up Early

Mr. Right at The Right Place presents Angry Protesters Demand “U.S. Out of U.S. Now!”

Vox Poplar at Vox Poplar Is right About Everything & Don’t You Forget It! presents THIS JUST IN….

While we’re neither fans of Sheehan-bashing, nor the term “moonbat”, bob at either orr nevertheless produces a truly amusing line-up inThe Concert for Cindy Sheehan.

Barry Welford at The Other Bloke’s Blog brings us a satirical take (for a business blog) on the old saw What Do You Call An 800 Lb. Gorilla?. (And is the inspiration for our title graphic this week.)

The Man at GOP and the City presents Rangel Is Full of the Wrong Bull, which, while not satire per se, is replete with satirical possibilities. Nobody here thinks Bull Connor (the billiard ball on stilts from Night Court) was racist either.

And finally, we recommend you check out The Assimilated Negro at The Assimilated Negro (see, that’s the self-titled blog, there are no Bull O’Connors here!) presents Benefits of Converting From Negro To Assimilated Negro. Excellent satire.

Thanks to everyone for participating in the second Carnival of Satire, and to Chris in NE for the gorilla picture. We’re looking forward to next week’s efforts, where we promise there will be no extra primate added to the Carnival. Okay, no gratuitously extra primate.

Darth Jeremy, Dark Lord of Insurance Agents

By on September 28, 2005 in Parody & Satire, Skwibby fiction

Image of Darth Jeremy, Dark Lord of Insurance AgentsPsychlotron XII was well-known as the premier negolath-mining planet in the entire galaxy. (Negolath, as you know, is a vital element in the powdered wig industry, which has gripped galactic fashion since the disembodied head of Joan Rivers wore one to the 1206th Oscars.)

The problem with negolath is that it is easily transmuted into an aerosol, is highly reactive and can cause a range of maladies such as having your face to slough off. In short, if not properly handled, negolath killed people, turned them into hideous skin-deprived ghouls, or even worse.

The Massively Helpful Insurance Company provided the health coverage for the miners who quarried the all-important negolath.

And there had been a massive aerosol event; thousands of miners and their families were dead, losing their facial features, or getting sick. The Massively Helpful Insurance Company was on the hook for billions of credits in health care, that is, until they called in Darth Jeremy, Dark Lord of Insurance Agents. It would take him weeks, but the powerful villain visited each policy holder in turn. Continue Reading →

Tuesday o-rama!

By on September 27, 2005 in General Skwib

The lucky 13th Carnival of Liberty is hosted (most excellently) by Forward Biased today, and you may want to check out some of the posts there, particularly “Your papers are not in order” about the dangers of tube-travel in London (the first one); I learned that perspiring is suspicious behavior in the UK.

You will also find a truly cranky (and funny) edition of the Bonfire of the Vanities hosted this week by The Zero Boss. I submitted last week‘s “Ask General Kang”, which I’m told came across as being filled with simian rage as opposed to humorous simian rage. (Big difference.)

Eeeeooow

Non-carnival o-rama here at the Mop and Pail:

If the appropriate conditions are created and the right hormones produced, any person can conceive, he said. But, he added, if the placenta latched on to an organ such as the liver, the organ could malfunction or a major hemorrhage could occur.

Special Agent Mulva

By on September 26, 2005 in Parody & Satire, Skwibby fiction

image of lips, partedThe Truth was out there, and it was Special Agent Frank Mulva’s job to prevent people from finding it.

If they discovered it … well … he just didn’t want to think about the ramifications. If people understood that sex was fun? There was no greater danger.

He had personal experience with it — the danger of the knowledge, not the actual sex.

His younger sister, Fanny, had been seduced by carnality. And then combined it with commerce; it was as though she had been abducted by aliens. Of course, unlike an alien abduction, he could always see his sister if he went to his nearest web browser and typed in lustylasses.com.

It tore his heart out.

For Fanny, the journey had started out so innocently. She and some other college friends got together one night to have a Passion Party — like a Tupperware party, but with sex toys and lessons from evil sexucators on how to give a better … Mulva couldn’t even think of it.

Yep, the Passion Party was the gateway to the evils of the hardcore porn industry, and it was Mulva’s key focus. He would shut them down. He didn’t care if they were legal.

He had a calling. Greatness was thrust upon him.

Yep, Mulva thought, thrust. Thrust, thrust, thrust. Hmm, odd. Why would that word keep running through his head?

Inspired by:
Swelling demand for sex ed | Recruits sought for pr0n squad | lips by robyn’s nest