Author Archive | Mark A. Rayner

Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Onions

Onion-lovingShattolott City, 1932

The man who loved onions.

He loved onions

Loved em. Really.

He loooved them. If you catch my drift.

The authorities frowned on his vegetable affections, but he would not stop. I sing joy monkey monkey at his happy artifice.

But in this country, I did not eat.

Next Time: On the Fields of Eton

About the Photographer: Toulouse Le Grandfig was a surrealist painter, photographer and writer who never gave up dadaism. Also, he never wore that frilly gown. Never!

Seriously, you have to go buy Amazon.com. Or just one of the books there, we suggest this one. Do it or the blog gets it. We’re fading already! Originally published in 2008.

Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Amazonia

In the land of the AmazonsHermitage Villas, 3000 BC

I’m in the land of the Amazons. The women are giant. And cruel. They play a game called “Truncheons and Skulls” with the men.

The winners levitate the unfortunate survivors; these poor devils are forced to laugh at their ignominious floating before they are consumed by carnivorous haberdashery.

I weep. My cigar is flaccid. All-told, I am sorry to have left the boat.

Next Time: Onionania

About the Photographer: Toulouse Le Grandfig was a surrealist painter, photographer and writer who never gave up dadaism. Also, he was fond of mulit-layered conundrums that could be fried with garlic.

Marvellous Hairy is sorry to have left the boat. You know, you’re never supposed to leave the boat. Watch for tigers if you do. And cows. Originally published July 2008.

Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Birdman

Lok-laach-doJanuary 22, 1978

It appears that in the future, the world is inhabited by a strange race of bird people. I am a happy fellow indeed!

Lok-laach-do is my boon companion, though he is molting.

His teeth are the razors in my soup! His hat is silly! Most egregious is his mustache.

And now, I sing.

Next Time: Land of Large Women

About the Photographer: Toulouse Le Grandfig was a surrealist painter, photographer and writer who never gave up dadaism. Also, his pate was paddled.

You know who could use a good paddling? All the characters in Marvellous Hairy. Them too. Originally published July 2008.