It had been a long day for Trent Derbish, officer with the Canadian Border Service Agency. Lots of traffic, tons of odd declarations, and then this old bugger with an English accent.
“I’m sorry, sir, but I didn’t quite catch that. Could you repeat it?”
“Right,” the old man said, “all I’ve got to declare is a brain. I’ve got it in the boot, if you need to see it.”
“A brain in your boot?”
“Yes, officer, a brain. In the boot.” Continue Reading →
Stesha had a big brain. Some people said this enormous and inefficient organ was the cause of his problems, but some had darker suspicions.
Of course, his supporters said Stesha’s big brain was one of his best features; it was why he would someday become Politica Suprema. Many of his closest spindicas felt that Stesha had other important attributes, such as a barely discernable sense of humor. The best thing to counter ill-formed opinion of him? Take him to summer festivals, celebrated by the common folk, where he could show off his big brain and tiny wit.
***
Johnson’s yearly summer barbeque was legendary for its full frontal nudity. An ex-HR professional, Johnson was capable of spontaneous bouts of nakedness, for very little reason, really. Sometimes a pretty woman inspired it, and sometimes it was just too hot.
That summer, he’d promised his family, his friends and the neighbors that it would not happen. He would, by Cupid’s Tallywhacker, keep himself clothed. Continue Reading →
Stee-ep right up folks, here’s the 143rd edition of the Carnival of the Vanities, hosted by New Jersey’s own Mr. Snitch. It’s worth checking out for the fun graphics and commentary, including an excellent book idea for The Lost PowerPoint Slides.
Useful multi-purpose tool:
The LORD:
–Greater than Seth, protector of crops
–vs–
Hmm. This is interesting. Looks like the Globe actually published that limerick I sent them in May:
There once was a PM named Dithers
who tended to bluster and blither,
when his Liberals were found out,
to Canada he’d just tout,
“We’re slimy but the Tories they slither.”
-vs-