After this photo was taken an alien zygote burst from this child’s chest at a tremendous velocity, blasting through the watermelon slice a moment later, and then running down the street; the photographer experienced years of insomnia, heaving drinking, and eventually, suicide.
Now you feel bad for laughing, don’t you?
But for this to work, there has to be SOME sex before hand.
Yeah, as I always say — never writing something electronically that you aren’t willing to defend to the entire world.
The Vowels: A Film by Ken Burns from Sam Cherington on Vimeo.
Genius parody, via Brain Picker.
He had to admit the outfit was pretty spectacular, and the fringe benefits of membership were pretty good too — not only would it forestall your evisceration via tongs and razor-fingers, but you also got to run the world.
The Fraternity of the Cone had been in charge since the Counter-Reformation, but they’d kept their nifty hats mostly on the down-low, only wearing them on extended “hunts” and during their annual Ribfest. Bob had been tracked by the “recruitment committee” for several days in the Scottish Highlands (at least, Bob surmised it was Scotland — he’d awakened in the thick grass and heather instead of his Boston apartment two days ago.)
They just couldn’t seem to take no for an answer, and Bob thought they were serious about the tongs and finger-blades thing, so he had one of two choices: let them feed on his intestines, or vaporize them all with his laser vision. (He was a descendent of Queen Victoria.)
He sighed. So much for his white suit.
This series of short videos (and extremely annoying ads) at the Esquire website feature the actor Brian Cox demonstrating how to pronounce a large variety of scotch names.
My modest proposal is that we should recreate this useful series and actually consume a dram for each scotch in the list. Perhaps when a scotch’s name is mis-pronounced another dram must be consumed of it until it is pronounced properly.
Ambulances will have to be hired, of course, and we should probably have a doctor and still-master on hand in case of emergencies.
