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Carnival of Satire (#88)

By on November 22, 2007 in Carnival of Satire

The Carnival of Satire (#88)Welcome to the gobbler version of the Carnival of Satire. We didn’t receive many submissions this week, so we have stuffed this issue with a mix of the few submitted bits of satire, parody from the nuts on our blogroll and a few tasty nuggets of irony from bloggers at humor blogs.

We begin with this savory piece by the Electric Writer about the dangers of writing while drinking copious amounts of coffee. By the way, beer can also cause one to be toilet enraged.

If you haven’t graced your palette with some of the exotic fare at Ration Reality, then you are in for a treat, especially if you also think that Shirley Temple is Creepy.

Over at Point Five, they were shocked — shocked — to discover a dude enjoying a chick flick, but this is just a sign of the crisis of gynemovia sweeping North America.

And if you needed further proof of this crisis, look no farther than Hurty Elbow, who blows the lid off Phireblanks, the male contraceptive.

Mental Mosaic is convinced that James Watson has had a big scoop of jungle fever.

The Prezel has breaking news about the Hollywood Writers’ strike that you should not miss on this day of thanks.

This demonstration of a Venn Diagram, by Mr. Sun, while not holiday-related, is quite helpful.

And while on the topic of diagrams, you may find the wedgie-vs-fashion Venn at the brilliant blog, Indexed, a pinch.

What are those kids up to? Have they found makeup?

Blog D’Ellison has a satirical tour of art history with this 100-word take on Dali’s “The Persistence of Memory”.

And finally, we hope you have a much less harrowing feast than these folks: Dinner Guests Survive Unsolicited Tour of House.

And that’s it for the gobbler edition! If you have some satire to share, please consider submitting to the next edition. Thanks to these fine folks for helping us with webby-stuff: the Blog Carnival for their form; and the listings at the Ubercarnival, and at the Blog Carnival too.

Batman Lashes Out at the Other Members of the Justice League of America After Spending the Weekend at the Jack Nicholson Film Festival

By on November 7, 2007 in But is it art?, Parody & Satire

Batman loses itby Mark A. Rayner

You know, I’m getting a little tired of all the snide remarks about the way I fight crime.

We live in a world that has villains, and those villains have to be defeated by men with Batarangs. Or superpowers, if you’ve got them. (Yeah, and females too, don’t get your star-spangled knickers in a knot, Wonder Women.) I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for the psychotic killer that I sent to the hospital last night, and you curse my “methods”. You have that luxury.

Green Lantern, you can always capture crooks with that weird glowing shit from your alien ring. And you Wonder Woman, I wonder if that golden truth-telling lasso is as innocuous as it looks? You have easy options.

You know that when I beat that punk to within an inch of his life, while tragic for him, I saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. I find it particularly ironic that you, Martian Manhunter find me grotesque, but you do, don’t you, you green uni-browed freak!

I’ll grant my methods are extreme, but they work. You people with your superpowers don’t dare admit it. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me cruising the streets of Gotham in my Batmobile, you need me in my Batmobile! Who else is going to clean up that bat-hole?

I use words like discipline and detective work and a lot of made-up words starting with “Bat”. I use these words as the backbone of a life spent intimidating the criminal classes. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to you, who succeed because of the detective work that I provide, and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a Batarang and solve a few crimes without your superpowers.

Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think is “excessive” or “brutal” or “verging on insane”. Continue Reading →

The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Lord of the Flies Edition)

By on October 30, 2007 in The Lost PowerPoints

image of savage boy from Lord of the FliesMy Grade 11 Gym Teacher Explains the Book –>Slide 2

  • Those choir boys were surprisingly tough
  • Ralph was a disappointment
  • Piggy got what was coming to him
  • (He’d be target practice in “dodge” ball)
  • Too bad they were rescued. I’d have left them on the island a bit longer. Toughen em up.

Carl Rove Presents the Lord of the Flies as Political Allegory –>Slide 4

  • Ralph represent democrats
  • Piggy represents liberal media
  • Jack is me
  • Roger is Rummy
  • Simon is W.
  • Samneric are the pigs, er, voters.

George W. Presents the Lord of the Flies as Political Allegory (Only Slide)

  • Big lizard, right?
  • Ate the children. Heh, heh.