You’ll find an excellent anniversary edition of the big kahuna carnival, the Carnival of the Vanities here, and a hairy, bingo-ridden edition of the Tangled Bank, the science carnival.
The Devil’s Dictionary: The Skwib Updates: N
N
NOTORIETY, n. The fame of one’s competitor for public honors. The kind of renown most accessible and acceptable to mediocrity. A Jacob’s-ladder leading to the vaudeville stage, with angels ascending and descending.
The Skwib Update:
NOTORIETY, n. See Celebrity.
The Devil’s Dictionary: The Skwib Updates: M
M
MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.
The Skwib Update:
MARRIAGE, n. A condition of misery that depending on your political affiliation, homosexuals should: have, never have, have but not be allowed to actually call marriage.
Ask General Kang: What musical instrument should I learn?
I think it depends a bit on where your talents lie.
For example, can you carry a tune? Then maybe a kazoo. Or even a harmonica if you’ve got some talent. If you have less musical aptitude, perhaps you should learn to play a tambourine or bodhran — that’s a kind of large tambourine without the little jingles around the edge — no, never mind, if I have to explain what it is, you probably won’t be able to play it and there are already enough of those. Beware, you’ll still need a sense of rhythm to play any percussion instrument.
Unless you’re playing a Tragdorian Mega-Drum, which are pretty automated, though you still need some kind of primate to activate the boom-boom switch on it. I once kitted out an entire troop of ultra-chimps with Tragdorian Mega-Drums instead of plasma weapons, and was pleasantly surprised to see them take their objective (a major city on the Planet Bluehairia) in record time. Of course the poor bastards were wiped out in our assault on Metalhead XII (they have a very high tolerance for Mega-Drum percussion there.)
What about bagpipes?
Are you insane? You want to be able to play with other people don’t you?
Next time: If it’s okay to have love in a time of cholera, what if do we do in a time of bird flu
Arrgh! Pirate Carnival Roundup
Avast mateys! It be a week until International Talk Like a Pirate Day, and we be honerin’ it the full week. Close-hauled like, savvy?
Here be some carni-vals The Skwib has keel-hauled over the week:
The second anniversary edition of the Storyblogging Carnival. A healthy roundup of short fiction!
The Greatest Show in the Galaxy at Solar Flare.
The Best of Me Symphony at The Owner’s Manual.
The Carnival of Satire (#45)
Is that a bag of cats you hear? No, it’s just the dulcet tones of The Carnival of Satire warming up after a lengthy break. Enjoy!
Jon Swift is actually happy that Science Is Dead. The death of science does explain what happened to our flying cars.
Madeleine Kane makes us think of bagpipes (in a good way!) with Bush’s Favorite Hymn Gets A Rewrite: Amazing Disgrace.
Thursday at Polite Company has some poetic parody of her own in The Can.
Cartoons! And satire! Bathe yourself in the squeaky warmth of Lemming Stew and the NEW CHOCOLATE CITY.
You may have already seen this, but to be fair, Ahistoricality found the Big Red Button shortly before The Skwib’s vacation.
No pink slips. Apparently God used a fax to Fire Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson And James Dobson. Thanks again to Ahistoricality this epiphany.
We’re pretty sure that Dr. Tundra should have read this article at AmericanInventorSpot.com before going to college. Not that a list of Things You Need to Be Cool in College would have helped him anyway.
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