Navigation

Ask General Kang: I’ve just spilled really hot coffee in my lap — is this what they mean by “global warming”?

By on September 6, 2006 in Ask General Kang, Odd Science

Ask General KangMost of the scientific community and a large number of other thinking hominids believe global warming to be an observed increase in the average temperature of the Earth’s atmosphere and oceans in recent decades. Most of those people accept that anthropogenic greenhouse gas emissions are a major contributing factor to global warming.

For the rest, your definition is no doubt preferable.

Next time: What is the proper etiquette for introducing yourself to the Queen of the Netherlands while in a state of undress?

The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Reign of Terror Edition)

By on September 5, 2006 in The Lost PowerPoints

The Reign of TerrorThe Duke of Brunswick presents “Pilfering” –> slide 2 (circa 1792)

  • Prussia doesn’t dig your “democracy”
  • Release Louis XVI
  • Reinstate him as your king
  • Or we will “pilfer” Paris

Maximilien Robespierre presents “The Committee of Public Safety” –> slide 4 (circa 1793)

  • With regret, Louis must die so the country can live
  • People are good and magistrates corruptible
  • You can’t have revolution without revolution
  • (Later, they will call these “soundbites”.)

Charlotte Corday presents “I’m not crazy” –> slide 6 (circa 1793

  • Jean-Paul Marat was a monster
  • I killed one man to save 100,000
  • Sure, Plutarch told me to stab him with a bread-knife, but I didn’t listen
  • Only a crazy person would try a bread-knife.

Robespierre presents “The Terror” –> slide 1 (circa September 5, 1793)

  • Enemies within our borders
  • Dissent is counterrevolution
  • Let me introduce you our solution, Madame Guillotine.

Madame Roland presents “Cooler, not Severed Heads” -> slide 2 (circa 1793)

  • The Revolutionary Tribunal has ordered an excessive number of decapitations
  • Including my own
  • Oh Liberty, what crimes are committed in thy name!

Inspired by:
September 5, 1793 — The day the French National Convention voted to implement terror measures to enforce the principles of the French Revolution, starting the Reign of Terror.

Skwib Off! (Until September 5)

By on August 17, 2006 in But is it art?, General Skwib

Beijing Olympics demonstration sportsDr. Tundra has prescribed some R&R for Mark and the rest of the gang here at The Skwib, so we’re taking until the day after Labour Day to regenerate.

In the meanwhile, perhaps you’ll enjoy participating in a little Tibetan Dissident Biathalon (pictured at left) or some other new demonstration sports in the works for the Beijing Olympics.

Or, maybe you’d just like to revisit some Thag stories, a smattering of the Lost PowerPoints, or some of General Kang’s best advice.

You might also want to check out Mark’s commentary on how The Skwib has been eating his new novel.

See you in September!

The Devil’s Dictionary: The Skwib Updates: L

By on August 16, 2006 in The Devil’s Updates

L

The Devil's UpdatesLIBERTY, n. One of Imagination’s most precious possessions.

The rising People, hot and out of breath,
Roared around the palace: “Liberty or death!”
“If death will do,” the King said, “let me reign;
You’ll have, I’m sure, no reason to complain.”
—Martha Braymance

The Skwib Update:

LIBERTY, n. Something taken with another’s works. See Plagiarism, Sampling.

Professor Quippy: Throw a bit of mammoth on the barbie!

By on August 15, 2006 in Odd Science

Professor QuippyWhile we’re still in the heart of barbeque season, there is exciting news from researchers at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology. We can sequence the genomes of ancient mammals, thanks to a new method of correcting errors.

As DNA ages, it degrades over time, but this new methodology promises a future with the mammoth! And we might even be able to reconstitute Neanderthal DNA too.

So when you have that mammoth flesh-fry, you can invite a real Thag over to share it with you. (That is, if he doesn’t, you know, go all cave man on you.)

Here’s the story.