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Quote of the Day: “We may be forced to erase his package with digital effects.”

By on December 13, 2005 in But is it art?, General Skwib

Yep, the new Superman is “super” in all ways, and studio execs are worried about it. I vaguely remember someone telling me that the guy who played Robin on the old Batman TV series had a similar problem. (Perhaps he was cast for this very attribute, which would explain why Robin is “the boy wonder”.)

And while we’re hashing up super heroes, you may want to check out a story from Jonathan Goldstein about what it was like to date Lois Lane after she broke up with Superman. Hilarious. I’ve found a link to a real audio recording of the story, but not that you’ll have to move the recording to minute 43:45 to get to the introduction before the story.

Ask General Kang: A long question…

By on December 13, 2005 in Ask General Kang

Ask General KangDear General Kang:
My apologies for this really long question, but there is an old phrase that I’m not sure of the beginning. It goes something like:

1. With a lick and a promise.
2. A lick and a promise.
3. Do it with a lick and a promise.
4. Don’t do it with a lick and a promise.

I was under the assumption it meant don’t do something half way, do it to the best of your ability. But I just heard otherwise. Please let me know. Thanks, I don’t want to be embarrassed!

– Mary N. and Mary D.

Dear Two Maries Writing in the Singular:

General Kang is too excited to answer your naughty question.

Beijing Olympic Mascots: Forced Sterilization Footy

By on December 12, 2005 in Parody & Satire

Force sterilization footySoccer is popular worldwide, but we don’t think this newest Chinese version is going to have the same success. We predict this demonstration sport won’t outlast the Beijing Olympics; there aren’t many countries that still have forced sterilization and abortion policies.

Our money is on the Chinese Communist Party team, which has the best record in the intra-China “one child (preferably male) only” league.

“Inspired” by:
US Dept. of State Country Reports (China)

More demonstration sports with the Beijing Olympic Mascots:
Tibetan Dissident Biathlon | Organ Relay | Hu Flung Falongong | Forced Sterilization Footy | Press Clubbing | 50-Meter Land Requisition Event

Human rights, hippo plights and blogrolly sights

By on December 10, 2005 in But is it art?, General Skwib, Parody & Satire, Skwibby fiction

Demonstration event: organ relayOkay, first off, Happy Birthday to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which has a Canadian connection, by the way.

Taking us to the other extreme, PooterGeek discovered Saddam has a lucrative endorsment deal with Birds Custard.

And lest you think that my series of Beijing Olympic mascots satire is tasteless (the “organ relay” demonstration sport pictured to left) I’d have you reflect on this story from China, about how protestors have been killed by the “authorities” and a village sealed. The satire is a whole lot less unsavory than the reality.

Okay, let’s lighten things up with this news that the Pope is to change D&D cosmology courtesy of Siflay Hraka.

As a fellow dog owner, I can tell you that The Poutine Diaries is right, when it says: There is no bad smell.

I enjoyed Mr. Snitch’s post: What makes a blog stand out? (Particularly the call for more civility in comments.)

Perhaps the Liberals could include this in their anti-crime package: Got a problem with youth violence and crime? Drive it away with barrel organ music.

And I don’t know, I found this story both odd and oddly touching: Tortoise adopts baby hippo.