Inspired by:Fight Club, Alltop and all the Baboons at Humor-blogs.com.
Ah, I get this question all the time.
The answer is an emphatic no.
The rule is: vermin are permitted, but they have to be smaller than your pinkie fingernail (and non-toxic).
In social situations, rodents (mice, rats and voles especially) can be quite off-putting, if only because they eat the tasty creatures that can make for a nice grooming session.
Quite often I’ll get together with General Coco and Major Bonzo, and our respective spouses; once Major Bonzo had a swarm of killer bees hiding in his goatee, and this was a real damper on the evening. (He was a colonel before this incident.)
Humor-blogs.com is rife with gila monsters. Alltop has a iguana problem.
I spotted a Photoshop contest that looked like fun, so I thought I’d have a go at it (with a Skwibbish twist, of course.) You can see the results to the right. (Original ad here. Synopsis of THE ROAD here. [wiki]
In the original contest, the idea was to take modern products and display them in a vintage advertising light. (You could reverse that too, but boring.) So, find some vintage ads, and then insert a product from a fictional future — it can be from a book, movie, TV, etc. The only proviso is that it has to have been written by someone else, so none of your own bizarre fictional futures. It doesn’t have to be as grim as THE ROAD, by the way. If you’re more of an optimistic Star Trek kind of person, then I’m happy to see Oil of Olay ads featuring Warf, or ear-hair trimming systems endorsed by Quark.
What, pray tell is the prize? Well, if you win, you can choose from:
The second-place winner will choose from the remaining prizes, and the bronze winner gets whatever is left. Worth playing for? The contest will run until (Sunday, April 20).
For more information, you can check out the original contest here. I’ll post a few more ads like THE ROAD baby food in the next week. I fully expect most of the wackaloons at humor-blogs.com to enjoy this one, but just to be sure, I’m going to tag a number of them, just to get the word out. Note this is not a meme. There are prizes, so that makes it a contest, so I don’t want any sword-wielding, hobbit-torturing, cubicle ghosts coming after me. Let the tagging begin, in no particular order: Bagel, Chelle, The Frogster, Brent, Rickey, Diesel, Don, Lobo, Quelqoth, Ellison, Rachel, Jon, Hurty, Alenja, Fiar, Bob, Mr. Snitch!. Finally, thanks to exnovo for the original baby food ad.
Was that a smile on Jeremy’s face, or was the photographer from Interstellar Geographic just anthropomorphizing?
He couldn’t even say why he’d named it Jeremy. It just seemed right. Could the simian before him actually feel the way that he did, think philosophical thoughts? Did the Hyper-Baboon have hopes, dreams? Was it possible that the creature even had a conception of time and space?
Then the other monkey triggered the landmine; pieces of baboon flesh scattered in all directions.
Jeremy grinned, walked up to the photographer and said: “Actually, I prefer Jerome, and that fucker was sleeping with my wife.”
You will find more monkey madness at the Carnival of the Insanities. And if baboonish humor is your thing, then check out humor-blogs.com. Photo credit: Broma.
A bit of advice from Bob Newhart:
But you shouldn’t stop going to humor-blogs.com.
And not the horrible dye-in-your-substandard-lager kind of green either.
Pursuit Dynamics of Huntingdon has a new technology which takes the wort boil to eleven. The wort boil is not a demented Biblical plague (seriously, warts on your boils!), but the stage of brewing when “hops are added to liquid containing malted cereal grains.” Normally it takes a lot of energy, but the new technology uses “supersonic steam” to cut energy consumption by 40 percent.
It also reduces waste and pollution, so overall, it really is good for the planet.
The bad news? Well, the supersonic steam is a bit rough and it “rips the liquid apart completely to form tiny, atomised droplets,” according to the New Scientist. What will that do to the brew? No reviews are available, but if it’s any indication, the two breweries that have signed on for the new technology (called PDX), are Coors and Carlsberg.
I will let you draw whatever inference you would like.
The full story here: Supersonic steam produces green beer (subscription required), and once you’ve decided not to read that, you may want to belly up to humor-blogs.com for a sip of more stupidity.