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Carnival of Satire (#94)

The Carnival of Satire (#94)It’s Valentine’s Day, and what better way to express your love than to rip into something with a vicious bit of satire. (Actually, we mean, “what better way to express your love if you don’t have access to whipped topping, a recording of Bolero and a fool-proof way to occupy Iraq?”) You could start by questioning the very existence of love, or say, a state ….

According to arch-skeptic Chris, “credible evidence for the state of Pennsylvania remains elusive”, and he takes us through his compelling case in: A Skeptical Look at Pennsylvania. We would like him to debunk the myths of Winnipeg and love next.

Mind Scalpel has more precision blogging for us in his proof that One Frenchman Beats A Hundred Monkeys.

A horrifying fact, but what about Blue Sunshine’s insightful ideas about Horror Movies? Can they really make people uncomfortable in every situation known to man?.

FitBuff reports on an actual scientific study of the Seinfeldian term: Double Dipping. As far as we can tell this research was not conducted in Pennsylvania, so it is statistically reliable.

Newsflash: Fair at Radiactive Liberty has jumped on the Obamawagon!

Bloggledoggle has news of some interesting research that shows some 1980s Video Game Cause Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in Kids born in that era. We are somewhat skeptical, as the research is from someplace called “Philadelphia” (Pennsylvania).

M’, yeah, I’m going to need you to go ahead and work this weekend … disgruntledemployee stuffs the suggestion box.

Speaking of stuffing. And suggestions. Charles H. Green claims that he did not make up this Conversation with a Spambot, but we have our doubts.

Joe Canzano is also experiencing some work issues, as relayed in his Yearly Review

Oscar DaGrouch has a modest (and disgusting) proposal for ending world hunger: Fat transplant surgery.

Jay Groce has this ironic take on how to Make Money Blogging.

Avant News has this report: Citing Faltering Economy, Lawmakers to Forego Cocktails.

jim presents Whirled News Tonight – Illinois Presidential Primary Yields Surprises.

Sammy Benoit explains more political shenanigans in the US: Why Rush and Ann hate McCain- the real reasons.

Dr. Deb has an adorable video about What Therapists REALLY Do In Between Sessions.

This gives us a chance to include a non-satire post from TherapyDoc. (And let’s face it, if you’ve read every post to this point, you will need some help now.) What ‘Faking It ‘Til You Make It’ Really Means

And that’s it for the VD edition! If you have some satire to share, please consider submitting next time. Remember, TherpyDoc’s post is an exception, and we’re looking for satire. To the kind-hearted stranger who sent us soft-core Japanese porn videos, thank you, but we’re looking for satire. Someone wrote something about it once, we think. Thanks to these fine folks for helping us with webby-stuff: the Blog Carnival for their form; and the listings at the Ubercarnival, and at the Blog Carnival too. A special thanks to Boodoo for the image at the top and to humor-blogs.com for putting the “gei” into geisha.

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Salathial Turgid, Hanging Judge

Salathial Turgid, Hangin' Judge

The O’Reilly Boys finally caught up with Old Judge Turgid at the Annual Pecos River Ride and Chili Jamboree. Salathial had hung their older brother Seamus “The Tinkle” O’Reilly just the year before and they were plum angry.

But Old Judge Turgid, he didn’t mind none. In addition to having a giant noggin’ that made his ten-gallon hat look like a Boston dandy’s bowler, Salathial Turgid had a legendary intestinal track capable of containing the very vapors of Hell.

He knew it. The O’Reilly Boys knew it. And the terrified denizens of Pecos knew it.

So when they put the Colt up against his temple, he laughed and said, “Boys, the only thing keeping my sphincter shut is my continued vo-lition. I’d give you the count of ten to va-moose but I suspect one of the town-folk will kill you first.”

Thanks to Michelle Jones for her creative photo and to the Hole-in-the-Mattress Gang.

Carnival of Satire (#93)

The Carnival of Satire (#93) -- with picture of Alice in WonderlandIt’s that time of the political calendar. Here in Canada we’re still waiting to see when the next election will be, but in the meanwhile, there is the US Presidential Primaries to enjoy. Depending on your viewpoint (and what kind of cake you’ve been eating), the process will make you feel either very big or very small:

DWSUWF gets us the mood for whimsical fantasy (like you’re not always in the mood for it) in: The Hero and the Queen of Darkness – A Fairy Tale for Our Time. Warning: the accompanying image is kind of graphic and disturbing.

Fiar shows us the rabbit hole (no that’s not some kind of nasty euphemism) with this Exclusive Interview with John Edwards.

David Mills takes us through the rabbit hole in this tale of the Return of the… EXCEPTIONAL 4!.

At the Borowitz Report, more Mad-hatted political news as a Gay Tiger Attacks Huckabee.

Ken G. introduces us to the Queen of Hearts when he forwarded us this email: FW: FW: FW: HILARY DIANE RODHAM CLINTON.

Escaping Wonderland, The Dopple Gang takes us on a sci-fi-tropic ride of satire in: Your Entry-Level Job Skills Are the Only Thing That Can Save the Universe.

Living Off Dividends has discovered this Hilarious Indian Telemarketeer Spoof Video.

It’s shocking. Rambo refuses to answer Rickey’s questions. Rickey should be grateful the Mumbler didn’t answer with his fist.

Aaron R is questioning if the polar bear is really Endangered?, particularly in relation to their available food supply.

chris has another video for us: Red Bull – Last Will.

Avant News presents: President Bush Remains Mute Throughout 2008 State of the Union Address.

“Professor” Reginald Isley presents What Would You Do For a Klondike Bar? (a double-speak analysis).

Sammy Benoit presents UN Human Rights Council’s List of APPROVED Gaza Solutions.

And to take us out on a final note of the surreal, this hilarious parody of the Tom Cruise Scientology Video (located here, if you haven’t already subjected yourself to its warped genius), is Jerry O’Connell:

And that’s it for the Wonderland edition! If you have some satire to share, please consider submitting next time. Thanks to these fine folks for helping us with webby-stuff: the Blog Carnival for their form; and the listings at the Ubercarnival, and at the Blog Carnival too. A special thanks to humor-blogs.com for throwing regular mad tea parties.

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The Lost PowerPoint Slides (The Model Parliament Edition)

Edward IEdward I presents “Hammering Scots is Expensive” (circa 1295) –> Slide 3

  • the War Wolf
  • largest trebuchet ever built
  • but it can hurl 300 lb stones a great distance
  • even Scots afraid of it
  • but dear, so I’ll call Parliament to get taxes.

Edward I presents “Parliament Summons” (circa 1295) –> Slide 1

  • what touches all
  • should be approved by all
  • common dangers met by common agreement.

Edward I presents “Parliament Summons” (circa 1295) –> Slide 2

I need taxes to:

  • hammer Scots
  • flay French
  • wail on Welsh insurgents.

Edward I presents “Parliament Summons” (circa 1295) –> Slide 4

  • seven earls
  • 42 barons
  • one proctor for every cathedral
  • two clerics of each diocese.
  • two knights of each shire
  • two citizens of each city
  • two burgesses of each borough to be elected
  • and the King (me), naturally.

Geoffrey, Burgess of Bury St.-Pluperfect presents “Quid Pro Quo” (circa 1295) –> Slide 5

  • wonderful having been invited and elected to Parliament
  • we will have given Your Majesty taxes
  • after you have already address our grievances.

Edward I presents “Bugger” (circa 1295) –> Only slide

  • I have to be accountable?
  • What have I started?

The Model Parliament: another step towards English democracy. These dudes didn’t have anything to do with it.

The Carnival of Satire (#92)

The Carnival of Satire (#92) -- guy sitting on wing of planeWelcome to the travel edition of the Carnival of Satire. We haven’t been on a plane for a few months, so we were surprised to see the new overflow seating policy of Air Canada. (Pictured to the left.)

Chris Christensen starts off this fortnight’s satire with these 7 Outrageous Predictions for Travel in 2008.

Madeleine Begun Kane takes us on a poetical politics ride with this funny A Liar’s Haiku and a limerick crying for sanity: Dear Editor: Enough With The Polls, Already!.

DWSUWF has run a grand social experiment in identity: what would happen if a Democrat became a Republican in San Fancisco? Find out in Republican Like Me

Stop the presses. Damian G. breaks this news: Ron Paul disavows bigoted statements written on campaign blimp..

Quelqoth reports on the Comfy Chair Fiasco.

But back to Republicans. Bagel has coined a new phrase and put it on a toke bag: “You say ‘lemming’ like that’s a bad thing.” Sorry, toTe bag.

The Offended Blogger has begun the Oh, Bloody Hell Offensive (against the testosterone travel industry, we think).

200motels presents Mexican wrestling: CHUCHA LIBRE!.

Sidhusaaheb has a modest proposal: Auction the Bharat Ratna!.

Speaking of India, Jason X presents The Onshore Alternative.

And the LOLcat phenomenon has now also branched out to Animal Planet, thanks to The Silent LOL.

Andrew Hendel believes he has the Top 10 Best Reasons To Not Work Out at the Gym, but the list neglects the most important reason — they don’t serve beer!

Steve has an entertaining and sarcastic review of The Year in Television 2007 .

And if all of this wasn’t enough, we have also learned that LOBO hates Hittites. Just sayin.

And that’s it for this edition! If you have some satire to share, please consider submitting next time. Thanks to these fine folks for helping us with webby-stuff: the Blog Carnival for their form; and the listings at the Ubercarnival, humor-blogs.com, and at the Blog Carnival too. A special thanks to Odegaard for his excellent Photoshop work.

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Carnival of Satire (#91)

Toothy alienWelcome to the first Carnival of Satire for 2008, the Light-Year of the Alien. Basically, the blogosphere is like Manhattan in the Men in Black movies. Sure, we pretend that we’re normal people, but bloggers everywhere are freaks, exhibitionists, and certainly extraterrestrial in nature. Sometimes, we’re even satirical.

Daniel Brenton blows the lid off Operation Majestic Twelve in the second episode of The Round Files: The George W. Bush MJ-12 Briefing

David Mills makes good use of his audio editing software and presents this anti-Semitic rant from Ann Coulter. (I mean, come on, for sure she’s an alien.)

Madeleine Begun Kane believes there is an alien conspiracy in Arkansas, and she Won’t Graciously Submit To Mike Huckabee.

Brent Diggs and the good people at Ominous Comma Industries have a new product for us meta-galactic mutants looking for love, promising: Copious Comments – Guaranteed.

Thomas K presents MUTE Politics. Surely there’s an Earth drinking game somewhere in here?

Sammy Benoit is channeling some kind of Ambrose Bierce-like ET in this Middle East Peace RAW SEX TALK.

gameguy presents the news that Cheney’s Biscuits Are Burning.

Usiku presents an alien’s perspective on Understanding Underwriting

Keith_R tackles the surreal (off-world) language of the business world in: The Top 12 Phrases I Hate in 2007.

And while the jet warms up, Dan Johnson figures that Gift Cards are Ruining The Holidays and has reasons why. (Just replace the word “gas” with the word “space” in this post, and you’ll see he’s an alien too.)

And that’s it for the alien edition! If you have some satire to share, please consider submitting next time. Thanks to these fine folks for helping us with webby-stuff: the Blog Carnival for their form; and the listings at the Ubercarnival, the Blog Carnival, and the good denizens of Planet Humor-Blogs too. A special thanks to Garrette for his toothy alien.

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