Tag Archives | soylent green

The Frozen Soylent Green Soft Serve Processor

from the 2037 Hammacher Schlemmer Glaven catalog

The Frozen Soylent Green Soft Serve ProcessorThis is the device that instantly turns Soylent Green and other flavorings into a soft-serve treat. The unit combines frozen Soylent Green and any additional Soylent products you can scavenge and instantly churns the ingredients to produce a treat with the texture of frozen yogurt or soft-serve ice cream, but without the crushing existential angst of eating people.

The chute easily accepts fruit when you can find it, but even the most affluent HSG customer is unlikely to have fruit, so it also works with Soylent Green, Soylent Red, Soylent Orange, and a wide variety of decomposing garbage; the integrated conical, spinning blade mashes and incorporates the nutrients into a silky-smooth confection. The chute, plunger, and blade are dishwasher safe. Includes a dessert storage container, four popsicle molds, recipe booklet, and the number to the Soylent Suicide Promotion hotline. Plugs into AC. (14″ H x 7 1/2″ W x 6″ D.)

Subscribe to a delicious confection of garbage in The MonkeySphere, a monthly mashing of absurd humor. When it reaches 500 subscribers, I’m giving away a Kindle. ($139 Amazon gift card, if you already got the ereader). More chances to win if you buy one of my books. Full contest details here.

Alltop prefers people.

Nudels

Stacy is horrified by tofu

When her friends invited her to the Harry Harrison Make Room! Make Room! Noodle Bar, Stacy expected a fun night out. Perhaps they would drink too much sake, eat some noodles tinted with green dye (that they would jokingly call “soylent green”) and forget about the tiny zombies rampaging through the city.

To her horror, she was presented with tofu.

More terrifying tofu here. Thanks to Betenoir for the photo.

Contest update: Vintage Ads of Fictional Futures

The last updates are on the gallery page.

Thanks to everyone who has put together a product, service or concept from a fictional future with a vintage ad — there are 30 entries all told, and boy the judging is going to be tough. I’ll post the finalists tomorrow morning, and then let you all vote on who wins. What are the stakes? Well, they’re listed below.

In an effort to keep this page from crashing again, I’ve done a collage of just a few of the entries. Click on it, or here, to see all 30 entries:

Vintage Ads of Fictional Futures


The Rules:

So, find some vintage ads, and then insert a product from a fictional future — it can be from a book, movie, TV, etc. The only proviso is that it has to have been written by someone else, so none of your own bizarre fictional futures. (Someone else’s bizarre future is fine, so all you William S. Burroughs fans are not barred from competition.)

  1. create your masterpiece
  2. post it to your blog
  3. link to this post (or better yet, let me know where it is via email or in the comments)
  4. wait for the aplomb and/or ridicule of your peers.

There are prizes!

What, pray tell is the prize? Well, if you win, you can choose from:

  • a prominent walk-on role in my next novel
  • a copy of THE AMADEUS NET
  • a “mystery” item from within the bowels of my desk.

The second-place winner will choose from the remaining prizes, and the bronze winner gets whatever is left. Worth playing for? The contest will run until (Sunday, April 20).

You may want to check out plan59.com or Flickr or Photobucket for inspiration.

You can find my original post about this here. All the artists at humor-blogs.com are invited!