Carnival of Satire (#99)

Carnival of Satire (#99)Happy International Worker’s Day everyone! Yep, it’s May Day, the traditional day to celebrate the worker, to dance around Maypoles, and if you’re really into it, you may even want to do some Morris Dancing. Alas, the hoopla falls on this, the 99th edition of the Carnival of Satire, but we will press forward with our cynicism anyhow:

We start with this news of recent scientific research. Dr. Tundra was very upset to read Will’s report that the Tinfoil Hat Brain Firewall Not So Secure After All.

Pipe danceNow, this busy worker isn’t dancing around a Maypole exactly, but she is very excited about something. And frankly, it’s kind of worryng. You’ll find the whole image at Fengtastic!, or click on the thumbnail.

Speaking of Maypoles, Swann has learned The Real Reason Hillary is Running.

While on the subject of poles with ears, Barbara Diamond informs us that Dick is obsessed with Nothin but Ass.

Ian Bowman has begun a promising list of defaults, starting with the default hobby for gainfully employed guys who are not in the habit of doing something even remotely interesting: photography.

Madeleine Begun Kane has nya, nya with: Hey Obama Sycophants, Don’t Say We Didn’t Warn You.

Sammy Benoit piles on with his terrifying dream: Barack Obama Was At The Exodus.

Huck Finn learns how Putin will save American democracy: by sending Chastity Belts to politicians.

This submission by Michael Fowke just freaked Thag out, but it was strangely compelling: Invesco Perpetual: Neil Woodford the star manager.

Greg Merrick has more financial doings with this primer on How to Completely Ruin Your Life Trying to Start Your Own Business.

While celebrating May Day, you may want to keep this news from Bloggledoggle that the Swamp Thing Actually a Hippie. Also there are indications that Batman is psychotic and Woody Woodpecker is an instigator. You heard me, an instigator.

And to finish off with some non-satire: Davexplorer made us laugh with this list of Dog Look Alike Celebrities.

And that’s it for the 99th edition! For our 100th edition, we’d like to do something a little different. We’d like you to find an example of some great satire that is not your own, and share it with us. We’ll credit both the finders and the findees. And what is satire? Someone wrote something about it once, we think. Thanks to these fine folks for helping us with webby-stuff: the Blog Carnival for their form; and the listings at the Ubercarnival, Ferdy’s permanent floating ping festival, and for the listings at the Blog Carnival too. Also, you may find some satire here if you dance around a bit. Warning: Alltop may cut in.

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Professor Quippy: What’s that Lassie? You’re freaking out?

Professor QuippyIt turns out that the long-distance “Twilight Bark” scene from 101 Dalmatians isn’t so fictional. (You know, the scene when the parents of the puppy-napped pooches, Pongo and Perdita, let all the other dogs in England know their young have been kidnapped by the chain-smoking, highly motivated and mildly deranged Cruella de Vil.)

Research from Eötvös Loránd University in Budapest (Hungary) shows that dogs can distinguish between other pooches’ barks. According to the New Scientist, the researchers: “measured the heart-rate fluctuations of pet dogs while playing them recordings of dogs barking at strangers and dogs barking to get attention.”

They discovered that dogs can distinguish between the different kinds of barking, and “it might be that they also understand,” says Péter Pongrácz, the lead researcher.

No word yet on if dogs are able to communicate via urine, but I suspect the answer is yes, and they call it pee-mail.

This dog was banned from the study, mostly because he was channeling Bud Abbot:
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New Scientist story about this research, and an invention to interpret dog barks. Humor-blogs.com is highly adept at pee-mail.

Vintage ads of fictional futures: the winners

Well, the people have spoken, and in their wisdom, this is the order:

First Place: Nexus 6

Tyrell

Second Place: Spice

the spice must flow

Third Place: Soma

Soma was served

So now Kittrick, the creator of Nexus 6 must make the difficult choice: a walk-on part in my next novel, a copy of my last book, or the “mystery item” from my desk? Oooo. Congrats to Paul and Bagel as well.

Thanks to everyone who entered this contest. To make that more concrete, if anyone who entered would like a copy of my first novel, THE AMADEUS NET, it’s yours for the cost of shipping. Email me at author-at-markarayner.com.

The finalists here, and the original contest notice here. We’ll do it again sometime, for sure.

High-brow Sunday O-Rama

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Now, just so you don’t think I’m being completely ironic, Rob at Old Is the New New, found this delicious Livejournal community that asks the historically vital question: Were they hot? Check out the babe with the eye patch!

Mark at NeoBubble is worried about the end lines, and has a great list to prove it.

And if like me, you are also trying to get in shape, you may want to check out Rickey’s useful Guide to Gym Membership.

Then you may want to massage your brain with this week’s Carnival of the Insanities, or perhaps massage your atheism with the Carnival of the Godless.

And now, something completely different:

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(This one via Neatorama.)