Navigation

The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Race to the South Pole Edition)

By on December 14, 2007 in Hinky History, The Lost PowerPoints

Superior beard technology -- Roald AmundsenRoald Amundsen presents “Don’t make me turn this ship around” (circa 1910) –> Slide 6

  • Knull meg hardt og fort!
  • Peary already got to the North Pole
  • Steer the Fram for South Pole
  • May the explorer with the best beard win!

Amundsen presents “Supplies for Polar Expedition” (circa 1911) –> Slide 3

Dogs, lots of dogs

  • 52 Samoyeds and Huskies
  • Good for dragging food
  • Can become food (for the other dogs!)
  • I mean, if you can’t soak it in lye first, it’s hardly worth eating …

Amundsen presents “The horseshoe is uncomfortable” (circa 1911) –> Slide 2

  • Our ship can handle the ice conditions at the Bay of Whales
  • Puts us closer to pole
  • Hey, there’s a glacier here too
  • Jævla nice.

Robert Falcon Scott presents “Scientific journey” (circa 1910) –> Slide 4

  • Not just a “dash for the pole”
  • Collecting scientific data
  • Also, about being properly English.

Scott presents “Bugger” (circa 1912) –> Slide 1

  • Looks like Amundsen got here first
  • Should have taken dogs
  • Okay, let’s get these rocks back to base.

Captain Lawrence Oates presents “Taking a leak” (circa 1912) –> Only slide

  • I’m slowing you down, right?
  • Just going outside
  • May be some time.

Scott presents “Final words” (circa 1912) –>last slide

  • Thin margin of error
  • More blizzards than normal
  • Still, we’ll die like Englishmen!
  • p.s. Rock samples are with the gear.

Amundsen reached the pole on 14 December 1911 and Scott arrived on 17-18 January 1912. News of Amundsen’s success reached the world in March of 1912, several weeks before Scott’s party perished on their return voyage. An alternate explanation of what happened to the gallant Oates can be found here. A map of their routes is available at the Fram museum website. Information on how to swear in Norwegian here, and information likely to make you swear is available at humor-blogs.com here.

Professor Quippy: Words Not to Use to Describe Ebola

By on December 13, 2007 in Odd Science, Parody & Satire

Professor QuippyI have a quibble with the New Scientist’s headline describing a “milder Ebola strain” recently discovered in Uganda.

MILDER? It still has at least a 30 percent mortality rate, and yes, that is less lethal than the standard form of Ebola, which is normally 50 to 90 percent. But I don’t know that qualifies it for the description “milder”. Less lethal, less virulent, yes, but it’s still the Hannibal Lector-in-a-hospital-ward-of-paralyzed-and-obnoxious-FBI-agents of diseases.

Other words that I don’t think should be used to describe Ebola: cuddly, cordial, genial, piddling, and orange. I’m sure I’ve missed a few there — feel free to leave others in the comments.

And while you’re worrying about Ebola, you may want to check out Archer’s useful FAQ about it, or this cautionary tale, and the Ebola of humor sites, humor-blogs.com.

Lolthulhu — for your cutesy, creeping sense of dread

By on December 11, 2007 in But is it art?, Parody & Satire

Lothulu

Okay, it’s official. Lolcats are destroying the world. They’re even taking the creeping dread out of the Cthulhu Mythos. You can find the full spectrum of Lolthulhu here. Thanks to Ration Reality for opening the Necronomicon on this one. And in case you’re wondering what the hell a “cthulhu” is, here is the Wiki on it. Or, you could just go check out one of Lovecraft’s short stories, The Call of Cthulhu. But it may freak you out.

Image credit: tforte | Image source: WurtzelStock

The Phrase Freak: Specific Timetable

By on December 11, 2007 in Monkeys!, Parody & Satire, The Phrase Freak

Non-specific bus timetableThis is a phrase you hear more and more, particularly in the broadcast media, but the print world is guilty of it as well.

For example, I Googled the phrase in a news search yesterday, and got 850 results, including such august publications as the New York Times and the Wall Street Journal. To be fair, I was sent to Google after hearing it on CBC (radio) news recently.

A timetable, by it’s very nature, is specific. Otherwise, it is quite useless, as evidenced by the “non-specific” timetable I’ve created for the fictional Godot Buslines.

Freak level on this phrase: 7 gobsmacks out of 10.