Yay! I never realized you could get Engrish every day.
So this establishment either has an exotic clientele, or they’re serving up something special. You know, a “British-style maid reflexology”, like the one mentioned below the phone number in this Engrish sign for “Melty Cure”.
As in “me so happy to have melty cure for my horny parts!”
New research confirms what I, Professor Quippy, have always suspected. I do not kiss well.
Is my mouth too open, or not open enough? Perhaps it is my rough, thrusting tongue that is the turn off? I’ve been told that my stylish mustache may cause the ladies to flee in hysterics. (Can’t blame them really, especially after a particularly pungent and sticky cheese.)
New research from George Gallup at the State University of New York, Albany, US, shows that “66 percent of women reported on occasion finding themselves attracted to someone, only to lose interest after kissing them for the first time.”
Ah-ha! Scientific proof that the first kiss will tell.
There is one other nugget of information that you gents will want to know: kissing is not necessarily going to end a fight. Sure, 70 percent of you think it will, but far fewer women thought that was the case.
Now, I’m going to shave this bad boy off.
Usually, this is the last thing you see.
Then something bad happens.
From Toulouse Le Grandfig in the Land of the Future.
Note: The Skwib will return on September 10. I just need to recharge my insanity suit.
Perhaps you could check out Humor-Blogs to find some other mental dribble until then:
In this week’s carnival, we ask a lot of questions; the answers, be warned, may disturb you. And if you’re wondering, when is the next carnival, then you’ll want to know it will be in two weeks. Despite the odd number, it will mark the two-year anniversary of the Carnival of Satire. If you weren’t wondering that, you’ve probably started reading the next paragraph, and you’ll miss this important information: in the coming squirrel apocalypse, the safe word is “walnut cluster.”
We’re including this Japanese animation called The Butt-Biting Bug, [YouTube clip] confident that we will eventually discover that is some kind of masterful spoof of Japanese animation. If not, well, it’s still funny (and mighty puzzling).
Speaking of butts, Mad Kane has posterior poetry with: No Butt Cams For Me — No Ifs, Ands, Or Buts.
On the other end of the GIT, Rickey Henderson has some questions when he Reviews Odd Food Left in the Second Floor Staff Kitchen . I don’t know, this looks like something that might even intimidate Ross.
Darcy Xenophon at Catymology has more warnings from the dangerous black squirrel rebellion: Squirrel cults on my thingpoddy.
In addition to the coming squirrel apocalypse, we should also be concerned about marauding bands of turban wearing IT personnel — at least that’s according to Samir Bharadwaj and his advice on How to Start a Conversation with an Urban Indian.
Sammy Benoit wonders Why Don’t We All Call God—Bob?.
Scott Killen is more concerned with why Americans can’t point to the US on maps — is it because the country is in stealth mode?
Alexei wonders if a picture of a Shirtless Putin Will Spark World War 3.
Super Saver asks Who Ya Gonna Call? – CreditBusters!
And sometimes even movie stars have money problems. This isn’t really satire, but Will Ferrel is very funny in this clip presented by Michael Chu: Pay The Rent Now.
And to take us out on a musical note, the publisher of The Amadeus Net was kind enough to point out this video on how to get more kids to read. [This YouTube clip is definitely not safe for work.]
Thanks to everyone for continuing to make this a great carnival. If you submitted something, and it didn’t make it into the carnival, it’s not that we don’t appreciate your work, but we just felt it wasn’t right for the carnival. In fact many submissions were quite funny/interesting/entertaining, but not really satire. Thanks to these fine folks for helping us with webby-stuff: the Blog Carnival for their form; and the listings at the Ubercarnival, and at the Blog Carnival too. Squirrel photo by mandj98.
Words I never thought I’d say: this ukelele player rocks!
Absolutely! You can’t take over a planet without a few friends.
The most wonderful thing about Facebook is the “status update” allows you to reveal your innermost thoughts and emotional states, as they happen. For example, when I’m feeling enraged at my lack of minions, I can click on: “General Kang is at the library.”
When I thirst for world domination, all I have to click on “General Kang is sleeping.” And so on.
Speaking of minions, you should join my group “Neecknaw Forever.” (If you’re a member you will not be subject to the same intensity of invasive probing when my space armada arrives.)
I’m also working on an application that will allow you do describe how you would fit in with a society ruled by uber-chimps and gorilloids wearing Fezes.